Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a
Movie Jail
trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the
defendant
is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking shithouse.
The Defendants
The Farrelly Brothers
The Case
The Prosecution: Fever Pitch, The Heartbreak Kid, Osmosis Jones, Shallow Hal, The Three Stoogges, Stuck on You*
Ladies and gentleman of the jury, it’s rare that we put a duo on trial for Movie Jail, but after viewing the most recent travesty that is The Three Stooges, the prosecution feels that one Farrelly can’t assume
sole responsibility, so we’re throwing both on the stand. What happened with these two? Some time in the early 2000s, the boys seemed content to ride the
wave of early successes into the comfortable breaker of mediocrity. In fact, the boys haven’t had a a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes since 2005’s Fever Pitch, a movie that
critics were far kinder to than they should’ve been. The aforementioned Stooges and most recently, the lackluster Hall Pass (which received a 32% critic rating and 42% audience rating on Rotten Tomatoes) has forced the
prosectution’s hand to put an end to this shit show.
The Defense: There’s Something About Mary, Hall Pass, Outside Providence (producers), Kingpin, Me Myself & Irene, Dumb &
Dumber*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, are there any other string of comedies that so clearly molded and shaped the landscape for the 90s? For us, the defense,
not a fucking chance. Look at the defendants’ first set of movies in 1994: Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin, and There’s Something About Mary.
Those are three movies that fans look back on and consider “classics”. We love Me Myself & Irene but understand the weirdness of it all could turn
folks off. We make no excuse for some of their less than stellar movies at the turn of the millenium, but what comedic team doesn’t suffer some bumps in the
road? For all the prosecution’s bitching and whining about their most recent fair, Hall Pass wasn’t terrible, and while The Three Stooges
wasn’t an overall good movie, the boys were able to pull some decent performances from said Stooges. We still believe the defendants possess the necessary
comedic chops to deliver solid movies in the future, and the court should recognize this and move for an acquittal of all charges.
IN CLOSING…
So, what’s to be done with The Farrelly Brothers? Have they reached their peak? Are their best days behind them? Is it possible that
Hall Pass is a step in the right direction into being welcomed into the good graces of comedy fans? Should we hold out hope for another great
Farrelly Brothers movie?
And the
most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into
consideration, we ask
you The Jury, are The Farrelly Brothers GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK’S VERDICT
It is the jury’s decision that after reviewing
last week’s evidence, the court finds Mr. Oliver Stone
NOT GUILTY of all charges. The jury found that Oliver Stone, while controversial and heavily political, has still made some of the best movies of the
past 30 years. Not to mention, Stone wrote Scarface and incorporated sequences in Natural Born Killers off
his own drug experiences. So put that in your pipe and smoke, then main line it in your veins, put on The Doors and ride the snake. The
ancient snake, baby.