This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendants
The Case
The Prosecution: War Room, Courageous, Fireproof, Facing the Giants, Flywheel
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, brother-filmmakers Alex and Stephen Kendrick are known for their faith-based Christian dramas, and while the duos' movies have performed well at the box office compared to their small budgets, they have mostly received negative reviews from mainstream critics. The prosecution isn't going after the Kendricks due to the fact that they write, produce and direct religious flicks, but because they just don't make good films.
It's no different than if the brothers made generic rom-coms, subpar horror movies or tedious white people problem films. Four of the Kendricks' movies have Rotten Tomatoes scores at or below 40%, and are usually described by critics as being bland and heavy-handed with the messages of the stories. Yes, there is a market for Christian-themed films and there's nothing wrong with telling an inspiring tale, but in the prosecution's opinion, they lack the talent to create quality movies.
The Kendricks may not deserve a lengthy sentence, however they have definitely earned a prison stay for their ham-fisted Christian movies.
The Defense: War Room, Courageous, Fireproof, Facing the Giants, Flywheel
Ladies and gentlemen, although most critics haven't been high on my clients' movies, their films have struck a chord with Christian moviegoers.
Courageous received an almost unheard of A+ CinemaScore, and all five of their movies have RT audience scores over 80%. The defense knows there will be some who will scoff at those numbers and say that hardcore Christians will eat up anything that puts their religion in a good light, but the Kendricks made those movies with them in mind, not mainstream critics, and certainly not liberal media types.
Even though my clients' movies may hit you over the head with their messages of faith, the defense feels they have improved as filmmakers. Not saying the Kendricks are going to be up for Oscars anytime soon, but they aren't as lacking in talent as the prosecution claims, and since the brothers only have five films on their resume, we believe it's too early in their movie-making careers to throw them behind bars. You personally might not be a fan of the Kendricks' work, but that doesn't mean they belong in Movie Jail.
IN CLOSING…
It'll be interesting to see what jury members have to say about the Kendrick brothers. Do their negatively-received Christian films warrant a prison sentence, or we should just let them keep on keepin' on for God? Are Alex and Stephen Kendrick GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Simon Kinberg was declared GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, and although some jury members had his back, most said we need to put the producer and screenwriter in prison for his weaker efforts. Mr. Kinberg has a few upcoming projects, and if it's clear that he has learned from his past mistakes, the court will consider putting him up for parole.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen, Dennis Dugan, Sharon Stone, Jessica Biel, Nick Swardson, Simon Kinberg
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough, Cameron Crowe, Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood, Tarsem Singh, Reese Witherspoon, Burt Reynolds, Ed Helms, Sean Astin
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn