This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Wish I Was Here, The Ex, The Last Kiss, Oz The Great and Powerful, Chicken Little
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Zach Braff isn't on trial today because of the Kickstarter controversy with his Wish I Was Here. No, Mr. Braff is up for Movie Jail because his Garden State follow-up just wasn't a good movie, and his projects since his first feature film as a director have been mostly terrible.
In fact, Mr. Braff hasn't had a fresh movie at Rotten Tomatoes since Garden State, and that was a decade ago. Most critics didn't care for his Wish I Was Here, The Ex, and The Last Kiss, and the prosecution also thought the films were very disappointing. Maybe you can't put all the blame on Mr. Braff for The Ex and The Last Kiss, but Wish I Was Here's failures are all on him.
Mr. Braff did an excellent job with both the comedic and dramatic moments on Scrubs, and reviews were great for his Garden State. So why has he only appeared in a few movies over the past ten years, and why did it take so long for him to direct another film? Granted Mr. Braff was a little busy working on Scrubs and over the years he's also done some theater work, but considering how successful Garden State was, it's a little surprising he hasn't done more.
But like previous trials, the prosecution isn't trying to lock Mr. Braff up because he hasn't directed or appeared in a ton of movies. However, the prosecution thinks he should be able to land bigger and better roles than voicing a flying monkey in Oz The Great and Powerful. Mr. Braff doesn't need to serve a life sentence, but the prosecution believes he does need to spend some time in Movie Jail.
The Defense: Wish I Was Here, The High Cost of Living, The Last Kiss, Garden State, Getting to Know You, The Broken Hearts Club, Scrubs
Ladies and gentlemen, a lot of people jumped on the "I hate Zach Braff and Garden State is overrated" bandwagon when it was announced his Wish I Was Here was going to be funded through Kickstarter, but the defense has always liked the actor and most of his films.
Although Mr. Braff's films have received mostly negative reviews from critics, the audience scores for them are quite higher, meaning there are definitely people who enjoy his movies, and the defense is one of them. I really liked The Last Kiss (as well as The High Cost of Living), and while it wasn't as fantastic as Garden State, I still thought Wish I Was Here was a solid movie. Some were losing their shit about the Wish I Was Here Kickstarter stuff, but it's not as if Mr. Braff was forcing people to donate money, and the rewards were pretty cool. The defense was at one of the Kickstarter screenings for the film, and it seemed most of the people there really loved Wish I Was Here.
Mr. Braff's films aren't as awful as the prosecution makes them out to be, and it's not like he was horrible in them either. The defense would love to see Mr. Braff direct a third film, and hopefully it will happen. But he's also a very talented actor who is just as good in front of the camera as he is behind it, and he doesn't deserve to go to Movie Jail.
IN CLOSING…
Are you a fan of Mr. Braff and don't believe he belongs in Movie Jail, or do you think we should send his ass to prison? Have you been unimpressed with Mr. Braff's recent films, or do you have a soft spot for him and his movies? Is Zach Braff GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
The jury has reached a verdict for last week's trial of Stephen Sommers, and in somewhat of a surprise, they declared The Mummy director NOT GUILTY of all charges. Many jury members said Mr. Sommers' films might be dumb, however they're not as dumb as say Michael Bay's movies, and consider them to be guilty pleasures. Several jury members also said they love his Odd Thomas adaptation, and were, of course, annoyed the prosecution didn't like the film.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition)
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler