This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Fantastic Four, This Means War, Jumper, X-Men: The Last Stand, XXX: State of the Union
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, while most of Simon Kinberg's movies have done well at the box office, money isn't everything, and the prosecution isn't a fan of many of his big screen projects.
Sure, he helped pen X-Men: Days of Future Past, but Mr. Kinberg also co-wrote X-Men: The Last Stand, the second worst entry in the series behind X-Men Origins: Wolverine. And although the problems with Fantastic Four had more to do with Fox and director Josh Trank, he did write the script for the critically-panned film with Mr. Trank and Jeremy Slater. But his biggest failures have been outside of the comic book movie genre. Jumper, XXX: State of the Union, and This Means War all received very negative reviews from critics (none of them have a Rotten Tomatoes score over 30%), and the latter two also underperformed at the box office.
As a producer, Mr. Kinberg's track record is a mixed bag, however his work as a screenwriter is the main reason why he's up for Movie Jail. Mr. Kinberg certainly hasn't earned a life sentence without parole, but the prosecution believes he does need to spend a couple of months in the clink for his crimes.
The Defense: X-Men: Days of Future Past, Sherlock Holmes, Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Ladies and gentlemen, my client has had a few misses, but he's still an above average screenwriter who doesn't belong in Movie Jail. Yes, Mr. Kinberg did help write The Last Stand, but the film had its moments, and he made up for that less than stellar installment in the X-Men franchise with Days of Future Past.
The prosecution wants us to focus on his work as a screenwriter, however Mr. Kinberg's only one solo writing credit was on Mr. & Mrs. Smith, which received solid reviews from critics and audiences, and was a big hit at the box office. This doesn't mean that my client is completely blameless since he didn't write Jumper, Fantastic Four, etc. all on his lonesome, but Mr. Kinberg shouldn't shoulder all of the blame for those movie's failures either. And obviously Fox is happy with his output, since he's producing X-Men: Apocalypse, Deadpool and Gambit for the studio.
In the defense's opinion, Mr. Kinberg only has two real blemishes on his filmography (This Means War and XXX: State of the Union), and throwing him in prison for a couple of subpar efforts seems a little much, even if it's only for a short stay.
IN CLOSING…
What should do with the X-Men screenwriter? Does Mr. Kinberg deserve some time behind bars, or do his good movies outweigh his bad ones? Is Simon Kinberg GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Sean Astin was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial. While his The Lord of the Rings, The Goonies, and Rudy turns are what kept him out of prison, jury members said he shouldn't be incarcerated for just taking the roles that are being offered to him, and some also said they've enjoyed his more recent output, specifically his voice work.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen, Dennis Dugan, Sharon Stone, Jessica Biel, Nick Swardson
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough, Cameron Crowe, Katie Holmes, Elijah Wood, Tarsem Singh, Reese Witherspoon, Burt Reynolds, Ed Helms, Sean Astin
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson & Vince Vaughn