This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Unfinished Business, Two Jacks, A Case of You, Just Like a Woman, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, Casanova, Alfie
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Sienna Miller may have starred in two Oscar-nominated films last year (American Sniper and Foxcatcher), but overall the prosecution hasn't been impressed with most of her performances, and she has appeared in more than a few poorly reviewed movies.
While Miss Miller has had a few strong turns in films like Factory Girl and Interview, the prosecution has never considered her to be a well-rounded actress. Miss Miller can only do so much with what is given to her, and we believe this is further proof that she just isn't a strong thespian. It's not as if Miss Miller has really been straight-up awful in her movies, but we believe she's always been at best a serviceable actress.
Many of Miss Miller's movies also haven't done much at the box office, with Unfinished Business being her most recent financial (and critical) bomb. The actress is easy on the eyes, however the prosecution thinks she'll look even better behind bars and far away from the big screen.
The Defense: American Sniper, Foxcatcher, The Edge of Love, Stardust, Interview, Factory Girl, Layer Cake
Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know where the prosecution is coming up with this "she's not a strong actress" bollocks. Miss Miller received high praise for her portrayal of Edie Sedgwick in Factory Girl, as well as for her roles in Interview and The Edge of Love.
Miss Miller was great in both American Sniper and Foxcatcher, but her performances were overshadowed by her male co-stars. The defense isn't trying to say she should have been nominated for a bunch of awards, however it's not like her acting brought down those movies either, which is exactly what would have happened with a lesser actress.
My client has appeared in several smaller films that didn't do well with critics or at the box office (Two Jacks, Just Like a Woman) but almost every actress has at least a couple of black marks on their filmography. Miss Miller isn't as weak of an actress as the prosecution is trying to claim, and the defense is confident that the jury will agree she doesn't belong in Movie Jail.
IN CLOSING…
Is this is a long time coming for Miss Miller, or do you believe she doesn't deserve to go to the slammer? Do we need to lock her up, or do you have faith in her abilities as an actress? Is Sienna Miller GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
The results are in from last week's trial, and Pretty Woman and New Year's Eve director Garry Marshall has been found GUILTY of all charges. While jury members said they've enjoyed his TV projects, they also said they have been disappointed with many of his films (especially his most recent efforts) and that he lacks style as a director. The jury doesn't seem to have a problem with romantic comedies, but they definitely have an issue with the ones helmed by Mr. Marshall.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock