This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: This Is Where I Leave You, The Internship, The Pink Panther, Cheaper by the Dozen, Just Married, Big Fat Liar
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, in the prosecution's opinion, director Shawn Levy hasn't directed a truly great film, however that's not why he stands before you today. While Real Steel and Date Night are decent enough flicks, he's also responsible for more than a few very bland and unfunny comedies. The prosecution believes Mr. Levy's biggest offense is his awful The Pink Panther reboot, but he also directed the equally bad Cheaper by the Dozen, and was behind the camera for two gormless films with Just Married and Big Fat Liar.
The prosecution is fairly certain the only reason Mr. Levy continues to find directing gigs is because of how well most of his films have performed at the box office, which is also why we're getting another Night at the F*cking Museum. Yeah, there are many who do enjoy them, but the prosecution isn't a fan of the Ben Stiller movies. As for Mr. Levy's most recent projects, both This Is Where I Leave You and The Internship received mixed-to-negative reviews from critics, and (of course) did solid numbers, especially considering the films' budgets.
Now Mr. Levy is developing a new take on "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves,"Â and it will likely be just as uninspiring as his previous films. The prosecution has seen worse filmographies than Mr. Levy's, but his bad films are really bad, and he definitely deserves to go to Movie Jail for them.
The Defense: Real Steel, Date Night, Night at the Museum series
Ladies and gentlemen, although the defense will admit Mr. Levy does have some dreck on his filmography, we don't believe he belongs in Movie Jail. He's directed a few turds like Just Married and Cheaper by the Dozen, however it's not like Mr. Levy has made a career out of directing subpar, but profitable movies. For the most part, Mr. Levy sticks to kid/family friendly films, and the prosecution thinks one of the reasons why the prosecution is going after my client is because he doesn't create cool or edgy films.
But there's nothing wrong with directing fun, accessible films that are meant for the general public. And while he stumbled a bit with his last two movies (This Is Where I Leave You, The Internship), they're not completely terrible, and are better than most of my client's early films. In fact, the defense believes Mr. Levy has improved as a director since tainting The Pink Panther series with his reboot. Perhaps Mr. Levy's Date Night should have been funnier than it was with the talent involved in front of the camera, but it's not a bad film, and there are some people who absolutely love his Real Steel.
Are my client's movies a little vanilla? Sure, but the defense believes his good projects outweigh the bad ones, and we don't think the jury will want to lock Mr. Levy up in Movie Jail.
IN CLOSING…
What are your thoughts on Mr. Levy and his films? Should we toss him in prison for his less than awesome early movies, or do you believe he should get a pass because of his more recent ones? Is director Shawn Levy GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Zach Braff was found GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, with jury members saying they were very disappointed with his Garden State follow up Wish I Was Here, and many also said they don't care for him as an actor, except for on Scrubs. Mr. Braff's punishment? Besides warming a cot in Movie Jail, he will also be forced to listen (on repeat 24/7) to The Shins' "Caring is Creepy" and "New Slang."
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler