This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: My Own Love Song, Case 39, New in Town, Leatherheads, Appaloosa, Cinderella Man, Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Down with Love
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Renee Zellweger isn't the first (nor will she probably be the last) Oscar winner to be up for Movie Jail, and even though she has done some decent work in the past, some of her film choices recently have been questionable, and her performances haven't always been pretty.
Miss Zellweger hasn't appeared in a film since 2010's Case 39, however she isn't on trial because of her lack of big screen credits as of late; you can't go to Movie Jail for not appearing in films. No, it's because the prosecution feels that an actress of Miss Zellweger's caliber shouldn't be starring in generic romantic comedies (New in Town) or incredibly sappy dramas (My Own Love Song), and when she has appeared in good films lately (Appaloosa, Cinderella Man), the actress has been unquestionably the weakest part in them.
But is Miss Zellweger really that great of an actress to begin with? Although she won an Oscar, a BAFTA, a Golden Globe and a SAG award for her role in Cold Mountain, the prosecution believes her performance in it was overrated, and the same could also be said for White Oleander, and even Jerry Maguire. Fans may have loved her in Bridget Jones's Diary, but she also starred in the completely unnecessary sequel Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason. Miss Zellweger also has a habit of starring in films that just don't work (Down with Love, Leatherheads), and while some may say that isn't her fault, it's not like she was the best part of those films either.
The prosecution feels there is more than enough evidence to send Miss Zellweger to Movie Jail, and hopefully if she is found guilty, she doesn't end up starring in Bridget Jones's Prison Journal.
The Defense: My One and Only, Miss Potter, Cold Mountain, Chicago, White Oleander, Bridget Jones's Diary, Nurse Betty, One True Thing, Jerry Maguire, Empire Records
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Zellweger may rub some movie fans the wrong way, but you can not question her talents as an actress. She won Golden Globes for three straight years with Bridget Jones's Diary, Chicago, and Cold Mountain. In particular, her performance in Chicago was very impressive, and if the prosecution thinks she was overrated in that film as well, he needs to get his damn head checked.
But her three year stretch of award winning films roles isn't the only reason why Miss Zellweger should be found not guilty. She was great in Empire Records, and who could forget her as Tom Cruise's love interest in Jerry Maguire? Although she also won a Golden Globe as the titular character in Nurse Betty, the defense feels her performance in it (and the film itself) is criminally underrated.
The prosecution argues that Miss Zellweger has been the weakest part of several films, however he's ignoring the times when she has carried a movie, like My Own Love Song. Is it the greatest film ever? Not at all, but Miss Zellweger's performance in it is very strong, and it is pretty much the only reason why you should watch the movie.
If the jury didn't find Nicole Kidman guilty of crimes against cinema, why does the prosecution think it'll be any different for Renee Zellweger? If she had starred in more films that were straight up terrible there's a chance she could have ended up in Movie Jail, but the defense believes Renee Zellweger will be receiving a "not guilty" verdict from the jury.
IN CLOSING…
Is Renee Zellweger still one of the best actresses working today, or have her talents always been exaggerated? Does the actress deserve to go to Movie Jail, or is the prosecution just nitpicking? What's it going to be for Miss Bridget Jones: GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
The jury shot a proton pack energy stream up the prosecution's ass for suggesting Dan Aykroyd for Movie Jail last week. They declared the actor NOT GUILTY of all charges, and thought him being considered for prison was outrageous. Dan Aykroyd is a free man, but for the love of God, someone please tell him to either stop talking about Ghostbusters 3 or make it happen already.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr. , Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd