This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Tammy, Identity Thief, The Hangover Part III, This is 40, The Back-Up Plan, Life as We Know It
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, since her breakout role in Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy has become one of the go-to actresses for comedies, however the prosecution has noticed more than a few people are very sick of her schtick. Although many have described her as "the female Chris Farley," the prosecution believes Miss McCarthy is actually in danger of becoming a female version of Adam Sandler.
In the grand scheme of things, Miss McCarthy's supporting roles in poorly received films like The Back-Up Plan and Life as We Know It don't really matter, however the prosecution definitely has a problem with her work in Identity Thief and Tammy. Miss McCarthy also co-wrote and produced Tammy with her husband, yet it feels like it could have been a Happy Madison film, which in the prosecution's opinion is a huge red flag.
The prosecution isn't one of those people who hate Miss McCarthy. In fact, we believe she can be very funny and is a decent actress. Since she hasn't appeared in a ton of movies, the prosecution isn't looking to lock her up for good, however we do think Miss McCarthy needs to spend a month or two in Movie Jail.
The Defense: St. Vincent, The Heat, Bridesmaids, The Nines, Mike & Molly, Gilmore Girls
Ladies and gentlemen, while some of Miss McCarthy's films have been trashed by critics, they've performed very well at the box office, so clearly my client must be doing something right. The defense isn't going to try to convince the jury Identity Thief or Tammy are terrific movies, but there are some who really love both films, as well as Miss McCarthy's performances in them.
Miss McCarthy was fantastic in St. Vincent. and Bridesmaids, and while the defense didn't think The Heat was amazing, it wasn't a terrible movie either. And combined with the great work my client has done on the small screen (Mike & Molly, Gilmore Girls), the defense doesn't believe she belongs in Movie Jail. Jury members might not be happy my client is reportedly in talks for Paul Feig's planned all-female Ghosbusters reboot, but does she really deserve to be locked up?
The prosecution makes it sound like my client's career is in danger of going down the shitter, but the defense believes Miss McCarthy is doing just fine. Sure, several of her films have received less than awesome reviews, however (as the prosecution points out) it's not like she has starred in a ton of movies. If Spy and her Tinkerbell comedy end up being awful, then maybe we can talk about tossing her in prison, but right now the defense doesn't think we should send Miss McCarthy to Movie Jail.
IN CLOSING…
What should we do with Miss McCarthy? Are you still a fan of the actress, or have you had enough of her and her movies? Is Melissa McCarthy GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Jamie Foxx was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, but multiple jury members did say we should lock up the Oscar-winning actor, so the court will be keeping a close watch on Mr. Foxx. Hopefully his new projects will be less like Annie and Valentine's Day, and more like Django Unchained and Ray.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf