This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Passion Play, Jonah Hex, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, due to her exotic looks and multiple tattoos, some have called Megan Fox "the next Angelina Jolie." However, there's one big difference between the two actresses: Miss Jolie has proved she can actually act.
Really, what can the prosecution say about Miss Fox that hasn't already been said? She clearly has a limited range as an actress, and has starred in more than a few critically panned films. Passion Play and Jonah Hex were savaged by critics, and like most of her non-franchise movies, both bombed hard at the box office.
Miss Fox hasn't appeared in that many recent high-profile films, and while at least part of that had to do with her pregnancies, her comments about Michael Bay certainly didn't help things either. She was cast in the Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but comparing her Transformers director (and the one who gave the actress her big break) to Hitler probably wasn't a good idea. While we're on the subject of TMNT, many consider her to be the worst part of the movie, and she won a Razzie for her performance.
Even with her lack of film credits as of late, many are just plain sick of the actress, and in the prosecution's opinion, Miss Fox absolutely needs to go to Movie Jail.
The Defense: Friends with Kids, This is 40, Jennifer's Body, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People, Transformers
Ladies and gentlemen, obviously the prosecution has the easier job this week. Miss Fox is more known for her beauty than for her talents as an actress, but the defense still doesn't think she belongs in Movie Jail.
First off, those Angelina Jolie comparisons are completely unfair, and in the defense's opinion, the only reason they exist is because the media likes describing young thespians as "the next whoever." Furthermore, labels like that usually end up having a negative impact on how we view an actor or actress.
But Miss Fox stands before you today because of her movies and acting, so let's get to that. It's true that Miss Fox isn't a particular strong actress, but was anyone really expecting a deep performance from my client in either of her Transformers movies? How about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? One could argue that she hasn't landed a "serious role" because she's a weak actress, however the defense believes it's because she's not trying to be the next Streep or Blanchett. Miss Fox should just stick to looking fine and comedies; the defense thought she was actually quite good in both This is 40 and Jennifer's Body.
Miss Fox's looks may be her greatest asset as an actress, but doesn't mean we need to lock my client up and throw away the key. She's also only 28, and the defense believes we need to see a little bit more from the actress before tossing her in prison.
IN CLOSING…
What should the court do with the much-maligned actress? Do you think Miss Fox has been unfairly criticized for her performances, or does she belong in Movie Jail with her Transformers director? Is Megan Fox GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Brendan Fraser was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, but since the vote was so close, the court has decided to put the actor on probation. As part of his punishment, Mr. Fraser must also serve at least 200 hours of community service by cleaning varies movie theaters around Hollywood, while wearing that ridiculous pink jumpsuit from Furry Vengeance.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock