Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood
writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a
Movie Jail
trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and
Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the
defendant
is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking
shithouse.
The
Defendant
Marlon Wayans
The
Case
The Prosecution: LiTTLEMAN, White Chicks, Dance Flick, Norbit, Senseless, The Sixth Man, Dungeons & Dragons *
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, with the release of A HAUNTED
HOUSE this week, we’re looking at what could possibly be another spoof movie gone unfunny. And none other than Marlon Wayans looks to be involved once
again. What’s it going to take to lock this guy up? You’d be hard pressed to find a comedy that tries so hard to be funny and fails miserably than LiTTLEMAN or
WHITE CHICKS
. There’s no denying that the Wayans’ spoof and comedies do pretty well at the box office, and with some audiences, but at the end of the day, they’re
condemnable trite.
Not to mention Mr. Wayans’ performances in these are so over the top and forced that it’s distracting, and that’s saying something when you
consider all of the nonsense going on in the movies. Lock him up and throw away the key? We’d say so.
The Defense: Scary Movie 1 and 2, Don’t Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood, Requiem for a Dream, G.I. Joe,
The Ladykillers, Above the Rim*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, Mr. Marlon Wayans is guilty of nothing here, other than being prolific and spreading himself out into various genres,
one of which is spoof comedies. And why not? He comes from a comedy background with brother Keenen and Damon creating one of the best spoof movies of the 80s and the fantastically underrated In Living Color, so it would seem a no brainer for the younger Wayans to venture into the genre. But he’s also gone beyond that, playing a
junkie in REQUIEM FOR A DREAM and getting into the action game with G.I. JOE. The defense feels that while some of Mr. Wayans’ projects have been less
than stellar, he’s still showing an ability to be a versatile actor with the right project. We recommend leniency and for the prosecution to develop a sense of humor.
IN
CLOSING…
So, what’s to be done with Marlon Wayans? Are the spoof movies really THAT bad? If the movies are a hit with a good amount of the audience, should
that be a crime?
And the
most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into
consideration, we ask
you The Jury, is Halle Berry GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR
arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so
relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR
NOT?
| PREVIOUS VERDICTS | |
| GUILTY | NOT GUILTY |
| Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Vince Vaughn Tim Burton
The Farrelly Brothers
Michael Bay
Jessica Alba Ice Cube Gerard Butler Halle Berry |
Robert De Niro
Val Kilmer Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Ben Stiller
Jim Carrey
Wes Craven
Matthew McConaughey
Robert Rodriguez
Kristen Stewart
Roland Emmerich
Kevin Costner |