This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Woman in Gold, The Giver, Days and Nights, Jack and Jill, The Son of No One, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, The Extra Man, The Romantics, Mad Money, Batman Begins, First Daughter, Abandon, The Gift, Disturbing Behavior, Teaching Mrs. Tingle
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Katie Holmes has appeared in a slew of negatively reviewed films as of late, however the primary reason why the former Dawson's Creek star is up for Movie Jail is because she just isn't a good actress. The prosecution can look past Miss Holmes' early work, when she was still a young actress trying to find her breakout film role, but we haven't been impressed with her recent movies or her performances in them.
It's very telling that even with her most poorly received films, Miss Holmes is usually still considered to be the worst aspect of the movie (Mad Money), which may explain why she's often either given almost nothing to do (Woman in Gold) or is cast in a throwaway role (The Giver). It doesn't help that Miss Holmes has a terrible eye when it comes to picking her movie projects. Sure, she'll occasionally deliver a decent turn in a film that isn't a complete waste of space (Thank You for Smoking) but that's more the exception than the norm, and at this point she is more likely to appear in another crappy Adam Sandler flick than a movie that could actually help her career.
The late 1990s/early 2000s Katie Holmes was the hot "girl next door" type actress everyone seemed to love, but we're many moons removed from the days of Go, Wonder Boys, and Pieces of April. There isn't any evidence that she's grown as an actress and since Miss Holmes has also starred in more than a few critically panned movies, we believe she needs to spend a significant amount of time behind bars.
The Defense: Miss Meadows, Thank You for Smoking, Pieces of April, The Singing Detective, Wonder Boys, Go, The Ice Storm
Ladies and gentlemen, didn't Miss Holmes already spend a "significant amount of time behind bars" when she was married to Tom Cruise? All half-kidding aside (and not to get all TMZ on you guys), even if those rumors of Mr. Cruise "controlling" my client weren't true, the defense still thinks it's safe to say that her relationship with the actor definitely had a negative impact on her acting career.
The prosecution is coming down hard on Miss Holmes for her work as of late, but isn't it possible she's just trying to rebuild her career post-TomKat? And while prosecution makes it sound like my client is an ineffective actress, there is some talent behind those good looks. The prosecution already listed some of Miss Holmes' more well received roles (and she really was fantastic in Pieces of April), but for a recent example, look no further than Miss Meadows, which isn't a great film, however it does feature a fun turn from my client. Although Miss Holmes was highly criticized for her performance in The Kennedys miniseries, in the defense's opinion, she was simply miscast as Jackie Kennedy.
Maybe it's because the defense still has a massive crush on Miss Holmes from her Dawson's Creek days, but we don't think she belongs in Movie Jail. Does she need to find a really good role to prove she's still got it? Perhaps, however that doesn't mean she should be thrown in prison.
IN CLOSING…
Should we give Miss Holmes a break, or do you believe she has always been a very weak actress? Does she just need a slap on the wrist, or does she deserve a lengthy sentence? Is Katie Holmes GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Unsurprisingly, Hayden Christensen was found GUILTY of all charges, however the actor did have a few supporters in last week's trial. Most jury members said although he wasn't great in the Star Wars prequels, he has also been just as bad in other movies, and he should serve a life sentence for his crimes. In a slightly related note, the prosecution is thinking about bringing charges up against George Lucas, so if you think the director should be put on trial, sound off below with your verdict for Katie Holmes.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad, Damon Lindelof, Hayden Christensen
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough, Cameron Crowe
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock