Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood
writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a
Movie Jail
trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and
Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the
defendant
is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking
shithouse.
The
Defendant
Katherine Heigl
The
Case
Note: We are going to try something a little different this week. Since the case is already so strong against this defendant around the internet and the JoBlo.com world, this week, only the Defense will attempt to sway the jury into acquitting the defendant.
The Defense:
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, the defense understands that we’re facing a tough task representing Ms. Heigl. But how fair a court would Movie Jail be without due process? Does she have only 3 fresh ratings in her whole career? Sure. But is it the fault of Ms. Heigl or are these just bad movies?
Of course, we have to point to her role in Knocked Up (one of her only fresh rating films) and we can see that the woman does possess some charisma even while playing an otherwise annoying character. We’ve heard arguments about how awful all other rom-com flicks are, but if she doesn’t take the proverbial ball and run with it, someone else would. She’s filling a role and from what we can tell, those movies have done pretty well in worldwide box office receipts, with the exception of One for the Money. Every movie since Knocked Up has consistently made it’s production budget back and then some. Again we ask, where’s the crime in this? (We didn’t really ask the first time but whatever).
IN
CLOSING…
So, what’s to be done with Ms. Katherine Heigl? Are we willing to convict someone that rom-com fans love and pay money to see? Are her rom-coms really that bad? And the
most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into
consideration, we ask
you The Jury, is Katherine Heigl GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR
arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so
relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR
NOT?
LAST WEEK’S
VERDICT
It is the jury’s decision that after reviewing
last week’s evidence, the court finds M. Night Shyamalan
GUILTY of all charges. It’s been a long time coming, and though the verdict came as no surprise, the few “not guilty” votes did. Some thought he still had some quality stories in the vault, while others thought we shouldn’t convict because of a few recent blunders. But the majority agreed to lock his ass up in the deepest darkest cell and throw away the key. Done and done!
| PREVIOUS VERDICTS | |
| GUILTY | NOT GUILTY |
| Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Vince Vaughn
Tim Burton
The Farrelly Brothers
Michael Bay
Jessica Alba
Ice Cube
Gerard Butler
Halle Berry
Marlon Wayans
Julia Roberts
M. Night Shyamalan
|
Robert De Niro
Val Kilmer
Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Ben Stiller
Jim Carrey
Wes Craven
Matthew McConaughey
Robert Rodriguez
Kristen Stewart
Roland Emmerich
Kevin Costner
Sandra Bullock
Hilary Swank |