This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Gossip, Alex & Emma, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Raising Helen, You, Me and Dupree, Fool's Gold, My Best Friend's Girl, Bride Wars, A Little Bit of Heaven, Something Borrowed
Ladies and gentlemen, today the prosecution has set their aim on Kate Garry Hudson for Movie Jail and we believe we have a very good case against the actress. While Miss Hudson did wow audience members with her breakout performance as Penny Lane in Almost Famous it's been a steady stream of shitty romantic comedies ever since. The prosecution understands that an attractive actress almost always gets stuck doing at least a handful of these films in their career but most of her films in this genre are just overwhelmingly bad and Miss Hudson generally hasn't brought much to these roles either.
As terrible as How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is it might actually be one of her better films and that in itself is bad sign. Alex & Emma has a horrible premise and even worse execution, Raising Helen is a shallow, ugly mess, You, Me and Dupree is painfully unfunny, and Bride Wars is just an attractive looking turd. 2008 was a "banner" year for the actress when she earned a Razzie nomination for appearing in two of the worst movies of the year: My Best Friend's Girl with Dane Cook (yikes) and the truly God awful Fool's Gold with her How to Lose a Guy co-star Matthe McConaughey. If you haven't seen Fool's Gold, please don't. Just take the prosecution's word for it: the movie makes How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days look like Sleepless in f*cking Seattle.
Her most recent films have been more of the same (A Little Bit of Heaven, Something Borrowed) and the prosecution doesn't see an end to these movies in sight unless you the jury find Miss Hudson guilty. Please help us stop the madness.
The Defense: Desert Blue, Almost Famous, About Adam, Four Feathers, The Skeleton Key, Nine, The Killer Inside Me
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the defense believes the prosecution is looking too closely at Miss Hudson's romantic comedies and ignoring the films that don't involve a shirtless McConaughey. The defense feels that while Miss Hudson has appeared in a few bad rom-coms, many actresses become the "it" girl for that genre and it goes in cycles. Meg Ryan, Jennifer Lopez, Katherine Heigl and Sandra Bullock have all done work in the genre (both good and bad) and it's (unfortunately) all part of the Hollywood system for attractive actresses. But Kate Hudson is on trial, not the system, and even though some of those movies she has appeared in were crap the defense feels that she was perfectly serviceable in those films.
Clearly these movies are her bread and butter but it's not like she exclusively does romantic comedies. One of her earlier films is the very underrated offbeat comedy Desert Blue and the defense feels that she did just fine in Four Feathers and The Skeleton Key. Nine wasn't a great film but Miss Hudson was very impressive in it and few actresses would have taken on the role she took for The Killer Inside Me, which is pretty much an anti-romantic comedy unless you happen to be a functioning sociopath.
And does the prosecution really want to throw the woman who played Penny Lane into Movie Jail? One of the defense's favorite female movie characters of all time? This is just outrageous and the defense feels that her work in Almost Famous combined with some of her more recent offerings is proof that Miss Hudson has a wider range than she gets credit for.
IN CLOSING…
Has Kate Hudson used up all the goodwill she earned playing Penny Lane and should she go to Movie Jail due to her consistently appearing in bad romantic comedies? Or is there more to her as an actress than playing the lead female interest in a romantic film? There's only one way to find out and it's with your vote: GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
SHARE YOUR VERDICT BELOW IN THE STRIKE BACK!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
After looking over the evidence from last week, the jury has found Paul Walker NOT GUILTY of all charges. It was a close vote but one movie alone appeared to save Mr. Walker from Movie Jail: 2006's Running Scared. Some of the jury compared Mr. Walker to Keanu Reeves and argued that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. The jury also felt that Mr. Walker's work outside of films and in general being a pretty swell guy was enough to keep him out of jail…for now.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr. , Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker