This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Movie 43, And While We Were Here, Big Sur, Life Happens, Straw Dogs, The Warrior's Way, 21, Superman Returns, Bee Season
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, after making a splash (heh) in Hollywood with Blue Crush, Kate Bosworth has appeared in several poorly-received films, and in the prosecution's opinion she hasn't shown she has grown as an actress.
Miss Bosworth has had strong turns in movies like Beyond the Sea and (most recently) Still Alice, but she hasn't really done anything to wow the prosecution. It doesn't help that the actress has appeared in many low profile and negatively reviewed films as of late, such as And While We Were Here and Big Sur.
So when did things start to go wrong for Miss Bosworth? The prosecution feels that her Superman Returns role exposed some of her weaknesses as an actress, although some might say she was miscast as Lois Lane. But since appearing in the comic book movie, Miss Bosworth has only had two fresh rated films, and it's obvious her star isn't shining as bright as it used to. While her performance in the Bryan Singer movie wasn't terrible, it certainly is proof that Miss Bosworth just isn't a great actress.
Miss Bosworth isn't the worst actress in the world though, and the prosecution isn't trying to lock her up for life, however we do believe she needs to spend some time in the slammer for appearing in a few too many unimpressive and mediocre movies.
The Defense: Still Alice, Homefront, Black Rock, Little Birds, Another Happy Day, The Girl in the Park, Wonderland, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton, Beyond the Sea, Blue Crush
Ladies and gentlemen, maybe my client is a slightly bland actress who doesn't always appear in the best films, but we don't believe she deserves to go to Movie Jail.
The prosecution claims my client has had a rough go in recent years with the actress mostly starring in smaller films, but Miss Bosworth was actually quite good in many of them. She was great in both Little Birds and Black Rock, even though critics weren't that high on either movie. Homefront wasn't a memorable movie, however she did a very solid job playing a white trash tweaker. The defense also thought Miss Bosworth was fantastic in the 2007 psychological drama The Girl in the Park and in 2011's Another Happy Day.
Miss Bosworth should get some credit for not being just another rom-com actress and for appearing in some dark projects. Have they all worked? No, but at least she hasn't been starring in paycheck films or shitty Nicholas Sparks adaptations. We shouldn't put Miss Bosworth in prison just because she hasn't been in any "big" movies these past few years, and the defense is pretty confident that the jury will agree.
IN CLOSING…
Have you enjoyed Miss Bosworth's recent work, or do you think she belongs in an orange jump suit? Do you think we should give the actress a break, or toss her in prison like her Win a Date with Tad Hamilton co-star Josh Duhamel? Is Kate Bosworth GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Jennifer Connelly was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, and the jury was very disgruntled to see the actress up for Movie Jail. As one jury member put it, "Putting her on trial is like accusing Gandhi of terrorism." While Miss Connelly doesn't have any upcoming films in the works, hopefully she decides to pass on projects similar to her recent failures like The Dilemma and Winter's Tale.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock