This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Movie 43, The Last Stand, Small Apartments, Fun Size, Nature Calls, Father of Invention, The Dukes of Hazzard, Daltry Calhoun, Walking Tall, Big Trouble
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Bad Grandpa will go down as another successful film in the Jackass series, but it's made the prosecution wonder if Johnny Knoxville should be free to walk to the streets. Yes, Bad Grandpa and the rest of the Jackass films featuring Mr. Knoxville are quite funny, however almost every movie he has starred in outside of Jackass has been awful, and calling him an "actor" is an insult to the hardworking people who take the craft seriously.
Look, the prosecution knows that some may think it's unfair to criticize someone's acting skills when they got their start on a reality series, but we aren't the ones who keep casting him in movies. Mr. Knoxville might be a decent person, but he almost always comes off as painfully annoying and irritating whenever he plays a character. Did anyone find him tolerable in The Dukes of Hazzard? How about Big Trouble? Movie 43 looked like it had potential to be a hilarious film, but the movie is truly terrible, and it's clear Mr. Knoxville still needs a few more acting classes. One would think Mr. Knoxville would do well in comedies, however more often than not his performance in them feel forced.
What's even worse is Mr. Knoxville's supporting roles in the the action films Walking Tall and The Last Stand. His characters in those movies are on par with Rob Schneider's in Judge Dredd and Demolition Man, which obviously isn't a compliment. The Last Stand, by the way, is Mr. Knoxville's only movie with a fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes that isn't part of the Jackass franchise, and many felt he was one of the worst parts of the film. Even when he does a pretty good job with a character though, usually the film is garbage, like Men in Black II.
The prosecution feels that since Mr. Knoxville's work outside of Jackass is so bad this should be an open-and-shut case, and is confident the jury will find the "actor" guilty.
The Defense: Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa, Jackass 3D, Jackass: Number Two, The Ringer, A Dirty Shame, Grand Theft Parsons, Jackass: The Movie, Men in Black II
Ladies and gentlemen, the prosecution is being a bit of a dick with this case, isn't he? The prosecution can bitch about Mr. Knoxville's other movies all he wants, but the fact remains that the Jackass films are hilarious, and movie goers love them. It's important to remember that the Jackass movies have also been fairly well received by critics, the same ones that shit on dumb Adam Sandler movies. So for "serious" critics to be able to look past the juvenile antics featured in those movies and go, "You know what? It's still funny," is kind of a big deal.
It's not as if my client only does Jackass movies either, and Mr. Knoxville and the rest of his Jackass crew should be applauded for not milking the franchise dry. These movies cost little to make, and perform incredibly well in theaters. Would it surprise anyone if instead of four movies (not counting the direct-to-DVD "half" ones like Jackass 3.5), there were seven or eight? For an extremely profitable franchise to only have four films over an eleven year period is shocking, and the defense wishes more film franchises would take the same approach.
But lets talk about Mr. Knoxville's films outside of Jackass. A Dirty Shame and The Ringer are both good examples of movies that use Mr. Knoxville's talents properly, and he does a great job in both films. The Ringer is actually a much sweeter movie than you'd expect, and it treats the disabled characters in it with respect. Grand Theft Parsons isn't a fantastic film, but it is something different from my client, and Mr. Knoxville surprised many people with his performance.
My client may not be the best actor and might not always star in the greatest films, but the defense is able to look past that because of his Jackass work, and believes the jury will feel the same way.
IN CLOSING…
Do Johnny Knoxville's Jackass movies make it easier to swallow some of his terrible films, or is it time we sent the masochistic funny man to Movie Jail? How much should he be blamed for movies like The Dukes of Hazzard and Movie 43? Are his performances in them that bad, or are the problems with these films unrelated to Johnny Knoxville's talents as an actor. What's it going to be jury: GUILTY or NOT GUILTY for Johnny Knoxville?
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
For last week's special Halloween edition of Movie Jail, the jury has found Freddy Krueger NOT GUILTY of all charges. While some admitted they were afraid of giving him a guilty verdict because he might invade their dreams, most felt that Freddy Krueger is just too big of a horror movie icon to be sent to Movie Jail. At least he didn't avoid prison this time due to a technicality…
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr. , Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special)