Welcome to Movie Jail, a facility like any other, only its inmates are Hollywood
writers, directors, actors and producers. This column will serve as a
Movie Jail
trial. We will put one defendant on trial; lay out arguments for the Prosecution and
Defense. And we leave it up to YOU, the reader, to decide whether the
defendant
is guilty of his or her crime. What crime? The crime of consistently being a stinking
shithouse.
The
Defendant
Gerard
Butler
The
Case
The Prosecution: P.S. I Love You, The Bounty Hunter, Gamer,
Playing for Keeps, Nim’s Island, The Ugly Truth*
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, one name we keep reading week to
week as a possible defendant for Movie Jail (other than M. Night Shyamalan) is Mr.
Gerard Butler. This submission had us scratching our heads until we took a look at his
filmography and
pinpointed quite a few moments where he might’ve went wrong. We understand that actors
like to switch things up and spread themselves out to other genres to keep things
interesting and possibly open up a whole new audience to their craft, but damn, is this
guy trying to purposely sabotage his career? As an audience, we expected big things from
this guy when he hit the general population’s conciousness with 300, but how do
you follow that up with a rom com
and a a kid’s movie?. Look at his
ratings and you’ll see he’s had only 2 (!) fresh ratings since 300. And speaking
of Rotten Tomatoes, his new film Playing for Keeps is on
pace to being the worst reviewed movie of the year. Lock him up? We’d say so.
The Defense: RocknRolla, 300, Law Abiding Citizen,
Coriolanus, How to Train Your Dragon*
Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, is there anything wrong with making a
living as a working actor? Do we not consider the actor’s motivation, whether it’s
simply to receive a paycheck or try something new? Or do we throw money on the floor,
yell “dance motherf*cker!” and expect the actor do what WE want them to do? Mr. Butler
might not have the best critically reviewed movies, but audiences respond to them.
This year’s Chasing Mavericks received a rotten rating but audiences loved it,
giving it a 76% fresh rating. Same goes for Machine Gun Preacher, The Ugly
Truth and, Law Abiding Citizen (which he was great in even if the movie
wasn’t). Sure, we’d like him to play more tough guy roles and kick a lot of ass, but
considering his penchant for peppering in some action flicks in between all the other
fluff, we ask the jury to move for an acquittal of all charges.
IN
CLOSING…
So, what’s to be done with Gerard Butler? Is he a lost cause? Can we
look forward to more “by the numbers”, yet fan friendly romantic comedies and
dramas?
Or can we hold out hope that he’ll deliver the goods once again?
And the
most important question to be asked, once all evidence is taken into
consideration, we ask
you The Jury, is Gerard Butler GUILTY or NOT GUILTY? Let’s hear YOUR
arguments, either side, by STRIKING BACK BELOW.
*The court recognizes that all movies are subjective, so
relax.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR
NOT?
LAST WEEK’S
VERDICT
It is the jury’s decision that after reviewing
last week’s evidence, the court finds Ice Cube
GUILTY of all charges. In what could be one of the biggest non-event trials in
Movie Jail history, the jury, when they weren’t drunkenly pulling themselves out of a
gutter felt that Mr. Cube’s transformation to happy go lucky, family friendly “Dad”
was a poor move for his career. Authorities will keep a close eye on him in to see how
his next films develop, at which point (depending on his roles) he might paroled or
thrown into the Hole.
| PREVIOUS VERDICTS | |
| GUILTY | NOT GUILTY |
| Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Vince Vaughn Tim Burton
The Farrelly Brothers
Michael Bay
Jessica Alba Ice Cube |
Robert De Niro
Val Kilmer Nic Cage
John Travolta
Oliver Stone
Ben Stiller
Jim Carrey
Wes Craven
Matthew McConaughey
Robert Rodriguez
Kristen Stewart
Roland Emmerich
Kevin Costner |