This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Transformers: Age of Extinction, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Blood & Chocolate, The Brothers Grimm, The Skeleton Key, The Ring Two, Impostor, Reindeer Games
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, since Michael Bay is already locked up in Movie Jail, the prosecution has decided to go after his Transformers: Age of Extinction scribe Ehren Kruger. But the latest Transformers flick isn't the only reason why the screenwriter is on trial. In almost every instance, the main complaint most critics have had with films from a script by Mr. Kruger has been the scripts themselves.Â
While he showed early promise with the underseen and underrated Arlington Road, in the prosecution's opinion Mr. Kruger has been coasting on the goodwill from the Jeff Bridges movie ever since. Nearly every script since Arlington Road from Mr. Kruger has been absolutely terrible. He's responsible for the Ben Affleck bomb Reindeer Games, the incredibly boring The Skeleton Key, and butchering the screenplay for the Blood & Chocolate adaptation.
Mr. Kruger's script for The Ring was solid, but most of it was based on the original Japanese film, and when left to his own devices with The Ring Two, delivered a ridiculous script that didn't make a lot of sense. The screenwriter didn't join the Transformers franchise until the second movie, and that's also when critics really started to slam the Michael Bay films. Coincidence? The prosecution doesn't think so. Other screenwriters contributed to the scripts for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Transformers: Dark of the Moon, however Mr. Kruger was on his own with Transformers: Age of Extinction, so that one is on him 100%.
Critics have come down hard on Michael Bay and his Transformers movies, but perhaps the real problem has been Mr. Kruger. He has a history of writing awful scripts, and the only way to stop him is by sending his ass to Movie Jail.
The Defense: The Ring, Scream 3, Arlington Road
Ladies and gentlemen, clearly the prosecution is just trying to use some of that Transformers: Age of Extinction hate to his advantage. My client may have provided the script for the latest Transformers movie and worked on the previous two, but it's not as if Michael Bay just filmed whatever Mr. Kruger wrote in the scripts. Mr. Bay has also played a big part developing the Transformers series, and it's not fair to try to put all the blame on my client.
Mr. Kruger might not have the best track record, but The Ring was great, and while it may not have been as strong as the first two films, the defense still enjoyed Scream 3. The prosecution lists The Brothers Grimm as part of his evidence against my client, however director Terry Gilliam and Tony Grisoni actually rewrote Mr. Kruger's spec script, so again, not completely fair to place all the blame on Mr. Kruger's head.
Some of my client's films have bombed with critics and at the box office, but Mr. Kruger's career is still going strong. If he is really as bad as the prosecution makes him out to be, he'd be writing scripts for Syfy original movies, and not a huge money making franchise like Transformers. That's proof my client must be doing something right, and the defense believes he is still capable of penning a script that is on par with Arlington Road.
IN CLOSING…
What should we do with the first screenwriter to be up for Movie Jail? Toss him in prison with his Transformers pal Michael Bay, or allow him to continue writing scripts? I ask you, the jury, is Ehren Kruger GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Director Dario Argento was found NOT GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, however many jury members said they weren't familiar with his work, which surprised the hell out of the prosecution. The Suspiria director did have his supporters though, and most said he shouldn't be thrown into Movie Jail because of his excellent early films.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento