This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Ender's Game, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Rendition
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when someone wins an award for their work (regardless of their profession), people expect more from them because of their success. Director Gavin Hood's Tstosi won the 2005 Oscar for Best Foreign Film, but his projects since then haven't been nearly as successful with critics or moviegoers, and one in particular is just painful to watch.
Obviously X-Men Origins: Wolverine is going to play a huge part in this case (we'll get to that train wreck in a moment), however it's not the only blemish on Mr. Hood's filmography. Rendition has a great cast with an important story to tell, but the movie ended up being overdramatic and not nearly as powerful as it should have been considering the subject matter. His most recent film Ender's Game did a little better with critics, however the prosecution feels it was an underwhelming mess, and was completely unsatisfied with movie. Mr. Hood also wrote the screenplay for Ender's Game, so don't let the defense try to fool you into thinking that the movie's failures aren't his fault because he was "only" the director.
And then there's X-Men Origins: Wolverine. What can the prosecution say about the movie that hasn't already been written? It really is a terrible film, and Mr. Hood's directing is a big reason why, although the defense is probably going to claim it's not Mr. Hood's fault. He may not have created the shitty CGI or the God awful script, but Mr. Hood was still in charge of the film, so at least some of the blame has to fall on him.
Mr. Hood hasn't directed a ton of movies, but the prosecution believes he has done enough bad to be sent to Movie Jail, and is confident that the jury will feel the same way.
The Defense: Ender's Game, Tsotsi, In Desert and Wilderness, A Reasonable Man
Ladies and gentlemen, will my client ever be able to put X-Men Origins: Wolverine behind him? You people act like Mr. Hood personally took a shit on Logan's chest. Yes, it's a bad movie, and yes, the defense doesn't believe it is all Mr. Hood's fault. Fox isn't known for being the most director friendly studio, and the defense believes the studio is the bigger reason why the movie ended up being an abomination.
The defense could spend all day trying to convince the jury that X-Men Origins: Wolverine isn't Mr. Hood's fault, but my client should be recognized for the outstanding work he has done in film. The prosecution didn't care for Ender's Game, however the defense thought it was a decent, entertaining film. Was it as good as the book? No, but it also isn't the easiest novel to adapt into a movie, and the defense feels Mr. Hood did an excellent job with the script.
Mr. Hood's earlier films are all very good as well. Tsotsi gets the most attention, but In Desert and Wilderness and A Reasonable Man are both outstanding movies. My client wrote, directed, and starred in A Reasonable Man, and it's unfortunate that more people haven't seen the film. Mr. Hood has shown he has a ton of talent, but people forget about these movies and only remember him as "the guy that ruined Wolverine." It's just not fair.
Maybe my client should avoid big studio films, but does that mean he should be sent to Movie Jail? Absolutely not.
IN CLOSING…
Does the prosecution have a case against Gavin Hood? Were X-Men Origins: Wolverine's failures due to too many cooks in the kitchen, or just one really bad head chef? Do you have any confidence in the director because of his earlier work, or is it time to write him off? Is director Gavin Hood GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
"Sylvester Stallone for Movie Jail?! But he IS the law!" The jury had Mr. Stallone's back in last week's trial, and the actor has been found NOT GUILTY of all charges. Most of the jury disagreed with the prosecution's arguments, and said that the actor is just too awesome to be sent to Movie Jail. Mr. Stallone is a free man, and the prosecution is currently hiding from him in an undisclosed location.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr. , Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone