This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Yogi Bear, War, Inc., I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry, Shortcut to Happiness, Christmas with the Kranks, 50 First Dates, White Coats, Unconditional Love, Loser, Crossroads, Pearl Harbor, Blues Brothers 2000, Celtic Pride, Exit to Eden
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Dan Aykroyd has starred in and written some classic comedies in his career, but the prosecution is fed up with seeing the actor in films that are unworthy of his talents, and the constant, unnecessary talk about another Ghostbusters movie.
Besides voicing the titular character in the abysmal Yogi Bear, Mr. Aykroyd hasn't had that many lead roles as of late. The prosecution would be fine with the actor having smaller parts if he was appearing in good films, however movies with the actor lately have been pretty terrible. Did Mr. Aykroyd only appear in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry or Fifty First Dates to help his SNL buddy Adam Sandler?
Starring in a couple of Adam Sandler films isn't enough to send someone to Movie Jail though. If that was the case, Steve Buscemi would have been sent to prison a long time ago. But Mr. Aykroyd simply doesn't pick good projects. War, Inc., Christmas with the Kranks, Unconditional Love, and Loser were panned by critics, and White Coats didn't even get a theatrical release. And why the f*ck was he in Crossroads?
Maybe if Mr. Aykroyd didn't spend so much time dicking around with Ghostbusters 3 he'd have better movies in his filmography. Are there really no other projects he could be working on? But Mr. Aykroyd isn't on trial because of a movie that hasn't been made yet; he stand before you today because we aren't sure if we even want a third Ghostbusters at this point, and we don't have that much confidence in Mr. Aykroyd. Remember Blues Brothers 2000? Do you want that to happen to the Ghostbusters franchise? The prosecution doesn't, and we believe the only way to prevent that from happening is by sending Mr. Aykroyd to Movie Jail.
The Defense: Behind the Candelabra, The Campaign, Bright Young Things, Evolution, The House of Mirth, Antz, Grosse Pointe Blank, Tommy Boy, My Girl, Coneheads, Sneakers, Chaplin, My Girl, Ghostbusters 2, Nothing but Trouble, The Great Outdoors, Ghostbusters, The Blues Brothers
Ladies and gentlemen, I have two names for you: Elwood Blues and Raymond Stantz. There is no way you send the man who helped create and played those characters to Movie Jail. Have recent films with Mr. Aykroyd been below his talents? Maybe a few, and obviously Yogi Bear was for the paycheck, but he was hilarious in The Campaign, and was damn fine in HBO's Behind the Candelabra. In fact, the defense feels Mr. Aykroyd is actually very underrated when it comes to drama. People forget how good he was in films like My Girl and Chaplin.
However, Mr. Aykroyd is more known for his comedies and (lately) for always bringing up Ghostbusters 3 every couple of months. Most are sick of hearing about a third film, especially if Bill Murray isn't going to be in it. But the defense believes Mr. Aykroyd doesn't want to do Ghostbusters 3 for financial reasons, or talk about it in every interview for the attention. No, we think Mr. Aykroyd truly loves the property, and believes there should be another film. For the record, Mr. Aykroyd would love to have Bill Murray back, but he's the one that doesn't want to. Now, Mr. Murray may have his reasons, and some will say another film definitely shouldn't happen without him. But once again, there's a reason why Mr. Aykroyd wants Ghostbusters 3 to be made, and the defense feels his intentions are pure.
Mr. Aykroyd is still a tremendous comedic actor and writer, and the defense believes he can deliver with not only Ghostbusters 3, but other future projects as well.
IN CLOSING…
Should Dan Aykroyd be sent to Movie Jail? Do his previous glories outweigh his recent failures? Do you trust him with Ghostbusters 3, or will he muck it up like he did with Blues Brothers 2000? Is Dan Aykroyd GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
COMMENT BELOW WITH YOUR VERDICT!
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyways, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Rob Cohen has been found GUILTY of all charges. Although some jury members had the director's back during last week's trial, most felt his most recent films Alex Cross, Stealth and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor were just too terrible to ignore, and now he'll be sharing a cell with Brett Ratner in Movie Jail.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr. , Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Special), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger