This is Movie Jail, a unique maximum security prison that houses some of the worst writers, directors, actors and producers from Hollywood and beyond. Their crimes? The offenses vary from convict to convict but most of these inmates have contributed negatively to the film world to some capacity* and his or her misdeeds have covered a long enough period of time that the authorities had to intervene. In each column a defendant is put on trial, arguments are made, and then it is up to YOU, the jury, to decide if the person is guilty or not guilty of crimes against cinema. Their lives are in your hands, dude.
The Defendant
The Case
The Prosecution: Tomorrowland, Star Trek Into Darkness, Cowboys & Aliens, Prometheus
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when it comes to eliciting fanboy ire, no one can do it quite like Damon Lindelof, however the internet hate for the screenwriter isn't the reason why the prosecution decided to put him up for Movie Jail.
Tomorrowland had a weak opening weekend for a movie with a $190 million budget, and received very mixed reviews from critics, with most criticizing its script. Many moviegoers were also disappointed with the film, and while the mystery surrounding the project generated a lot of buzz, it ended up being a fairly bland sci-fi flick.
Star Trek Into Darkness did very well at the box office, however many fans of the franchise were annoyed by the handling of Benedict Cumberbatch's character, as well as the magic blood plot device. Although the prosecution enjoyed parts of Prometheus, it was still a massive letdown, and Cowboys & Aliens just isn't a good movie.
Mr. Lindelof co-wrote these projects, so not all of the blame for their failures should be placed on his shoulders, but in the prosecution's opinion, the screenwriter does need to spend a few months in prison.
The Defense: World War Z, Star Trek Into Darkness, Prometheus, Lost
Ladies and gentlemen, right, this has absolutely nothing to do with Mr. Lindelof being unable to keep his foot out of his mouth. Although my client's movies may be flawed, they haven't been downright terrible. Ok, so Cowboys & Aliens wasn't great, but Mr. Lindelof still doesn't belong in our cinematic slammer.
As the prosecution points out, Mr. Lindelof didn't write these movies solo, but many people hold him solely responsible for the issues with them because he hasn't built up a lot of goodwill with fanboys like his Cowboys & Aliens and Tomorrowland directors Jon Favreau and Brad Bird.
But again, it's not as if Mr. Lindelof's movies have been widely panned, and he's also done some great work on the small screen, most notably as the co-creator of Lost. The prosecution hasn't seen his HBO drama The Leftovers yet, but we've heard very good things about the series.
Remove any possible personal dislike you may have for my client due to his, shall we say, strongly opinionated comments and ask yourself this: does Mr. Lindelof truly deserve to go to Movie Jail? The defense doesn't think so, and we believe the jury will agree that we don't need to lock up the screenwriter.
IN CLOSING…
What should we do with the much-maligned screenwriter? Does Mr. Lindelof really belong in Movie Jail, or does he just need to learn to keep his yap shut? Is Damon Lindelof GUILTY or NOT GUILTY?
*The cases for and against a defendant going to Movie Jail by the author are not necessarily his views and opinions but they are some of the beliefs that one would use to effectively make an argument for both sides. Not quite a devil's advocate but you get the point. Anyway, this is all in fun so don't take it too seriously. We have a separate jail for those people called "Troll Tower" and believe me you do NOT want to go there.
WHAT SAY YOU, GUILTY OR NOT?
LAST WEEK'S VERDICT
Avi Arad was found GUILTY of all charges in last week's trial, and The Amazing Spider-Man producer is looking at a hefty prison sentence. Jury members said Mr. Arad is responsible for way too many mediocre-to-awful comic book movies, and the good ones aren't because of the producer, but despite his involvement.
PREVIOUS VERDICTS
GUILTY Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Vince Vaughn, Tim Burton, The Farrelly Brothers, Michael Bay, Jessica Alba, Ice Cube, Gerard Butler, Halle Berry, Marlon Wayans, Julia Roberts, M. Night Shyamalan , Katherine Heigl , Cuba Gooding, Jr., Tyler Perry, Cameron Diaz, Kate Hudson, Ashton Kutcher, Happy Madison Productions, Jennifer Lopez, Bruce Willis, Paul W.S. Anderson, Matthew Broderick, Sarah Jessica Parker, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Renee Zellweger, Shia LaBeouf, Renny Harlin, Diane Keaton, McG, Demi Moore, King Joffrey (Game of Thrones Special), David Spade, Spike Lee, Kevin James, Joel Schumacher, Ehren Kruger, Chris Rock, Mark Steven Johnson, Mickey Rourke, Ashley Judd, Uma Thurman, Josh Duhamel, Saw Franchise (Halloween Edition), Zach Braff, Sam Worthington, Melissa McCarthy, The Wachowski Siblings, Kate Bosworth, Garry Marshall, David Goyer, Akiva Goldsman, Avi Arad
NOT GUILTY Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Nic Cage, John Travolta, Oliver Stone, Ben Stiller, Jim Carrey, Wes Craven, Matthew McConaughey, Robert Rodriguez, Kristen Stewart, Roland Emmerich, Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Hilary Swank, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Kevin Smith, Channing Tatum, Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, Anna Faris, Robin Williams, Charlize Theron, Ray Liotta, Jason Statham, Paul Walker, Will Smith, Salma Hayek, Michael Cera, Johnny Depp, Ryan Reynolds, Milla Jovovich, John Singleton, Jon Voight, Jack Black, Brian De Palma, Jerry Bruckheimer, Nicole Kidman, Justin Timberlake, Freddy Krueger (Halloween Edition), Johnny Knoxville, Orlando Bloom, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dan Aykroyd, Sylvester Stallone, Gavin Hood, Jason Lee, Jennifer Garner, Carrie-Anne Moss, Kate Beckinsale, John Cusack, Chris Columbus, Clive Owen, Terrence Howard, Andrew Niccol, Drew Barrymore, Steve Martin, Joel Silver, Michelle Rodriguez, Kiefer Sutherland, Dario Argento, Susan Sarandon, Dennis Quaid, Rob Reiner, Gwyneth Paltrow, Mel Gibson, Pierce Brosnan, Roberto Orci & Alex Kurtzman, Ivan Reitman, Stephen Sommers, Shawn Levy, Jai Courtney, Ridley Scott, Peter Jackson, Jamie Foxx, Luc Besson, Jason Reitman, Mila Kunis, Jennifer Connelly, Sienna Miller, Ben Barnes, Simon West, Len Wiseman, Brendan Fraser, Megan Fox, Neal McDonough
UPDATES: Robert De Niro, Nicolas Cage and Roland Emmerich, Jim Carrey, Robert Rodriguez and Gerard Butler, Jessica Alba, Julia Roberts and The Farrelly Brothers, Ben Stiller, Tim Burton and Shia LaBeouf, Johnny Depp, Kevin Smith & Chris Rock