Mandy Lane delayed II

If I as a writer for a major film website have any power whatsoever, by the power of Castle Greyskull may it be manifest now. It appears (courtesy of our sexy sister site AITH) that ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE has been pushed back again. Instead of the already belated May release, it looks like we’re now getting an August one. Why? Who knows? The thing has been getting great reviews, and Amber Heard just exploded in NEVER BACK DOWN, so I’m inclined to blame black magic and/or international terrorism.

The skinny is as follows: A group of high schoolers invite Mandy Lane (Amber Heard), a good girl who became hot over the summer, to a weekend party on a secluded ranch. While the festivities rage on, the number of revelers begins to drop quite mysteriously.

I’ll put my cards on the table here, I am not a fan of horror movies and I am not a fan of “good girl suddenly got hot” stories. But after taking my little brother to NEVER BACK DOWN last weekend, I’m militantly of the opinion that I would enjoy a seven-hour musical adaptation of BATTLEFIELD EARTH if Amber Heard was on the screen. And if you disagree on that I’ll kick your ass. Give us the movie already, please.