Last Updated on August 3, 2021
#1 – OLDBOY
What do you get when you get arrested for being drunk and miss your four-year-old daughter’s birthday? In Park Chan-wook’s classic film, you get put into a cell for fifteen years before being released to endure the most brutally and psychologically traumatic journey ever put to film. Yeah, OLDBOY should be shown at every AA meeting in the world and you will find a lot more sober people the next day.
#2 – THE HANGOVER
Face tattoos, tigers, abandoned babies, Mike Tyson, and missing teeth. Yeah, everything about THE HANGOVER is oddly steeped in the reality so many bachelor parties descend into. Okay, so maybe the tiger is a bit over the top, but who hasn’t been punched in the face by a retired boxer? I call that Tuesday.
#3 – FLIGHT
Denzel Washington is the most likeable alcoholic ever. The guy can fly a plane upside down while nursing a brutal coke and alcohol hangover. While he then has to deal with the fallout of the investigation into the incident, that doesn’t stop him from snorting and chugging any substance he can get his hands on. Think of it as SULLY but with less sobriety.
#4 – LEAVING LAS VEGAS
This movie takes away the fun side of drinking and only leaves the pain. Nicolas Cage is excellent as an alcoholic looking to drink himself to death. Spoiler alert, he succeeds but not before finding love. With a prostitute. Yeah, there is very little silver lining in this story. Ugh, now I really don’t want to have a drink.
#5 – THIS IS THE END
Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg are likely not sober very often. That means they probably have endured their fair share of awful hangovers. But, no matter how much weed they smoke or beer they drink, I don’t think they have ever experienced anything as bad as the end of the world. But, that is the fictional hangover they showed us on screen in a film that will make you think twice about indulging a bit too much.
#6 – VERY BAD THINGS
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. That is unless you accidentally kill a hooker before you and your friends all begin to kill each other off one by one. At least an alcohol hangover fades. The memory of murder is enough to last a lifetime. Plus, you should never trust any group of friends that includes Christian Slater and Jeremy Piven. That is a recipe for disaster.
#7 – ANCHORMAN
The best damn news team in San Diego do their best to hold their liquor, but when they drink, they DRINK. So, like any good team, they suffer the next morning as a single crew. Just look at those poor faces as they try to prepare for that evening’s broadcast. It also makes one wonder how many actual newscasters are shit-faced when they let us know about current events and weather conditions.
#8 – BRIDESMAIDS
Kristen Wiig doesn’t like to fly so taking a pill and mixing it with alcohol throws her a bit out of control. By the time she sobers up, she and her friends are all kicked off an airplane and forced to take ground transportation to get to Las Vegas. It may not be a walk of shame, but it is pretty damn close.
#9 – THE BIG LEBOWSKI
The dude abides but sometimes too many White Russians or getting shot with a tranquilizer dart can throw you into a dream involving bowling and Saddam Hussein. Then, you wake up and get a coffee mug tossed in your jerk-off face. That is not chill, Dude.
#10 – VANILLA SKY
Cameron Crowe’s underrated romantic thriller has some very surreal twists and turns, but it all hinges on a really shitty night of drinking that leads a disfigured Tom Cruise into a dream world that throws everything on it’s edge. Nothing is worse than waking up to a shitty reality with a bad headache than waking up to an ideal one that later turns out to be a lie.
Honorable Mention #2 – E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL
When I first watched E.T., I had no comprehension of what it meant to be drunk. But, seeing how happy Elliot looked as he got second hand liquored up made me really want to get the same result. Still, E.T. doesn’t look so hot after he finishes his bender with a painful looking faceplant in the kitchen.
Honorable Mention #1 – DUMBO
Pink elephants on parade! Sometimes animated fare can be way too real to deal with. Running at barely over an hour, DUMBO is chock full of disturbing visuals including the cartoon pachyderm getting shitfaced and hallucinating. Yeah, that is not something a toddler will ever forget.
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