Top 10 Scariest Extraterrestrials!

Last Updated on August 3, 2021

So, how many of you have spotted the unassuming ETA of EXTRATERRESTRIAL coming down the pike? We really don’t blame you if not, the low-key flick has aptly remained hidden in plain sight, just as all those real life aliens have purported to be here on Earth (do you believe?) But that doesn’t alter the fact that next Friday (November 17th) marks the day EXTRATERRESTRIAL touches down in cinemas across the map, so in the lead up to the otherworldly new Vicious Brothers’ script, we thought it only right to contextualize this here malefic E.T with the very many that have crashed Earth before it. That’s right y’all, we’re ranking our Top 10 Scariest Extraterrestrials to ever light-up the horror/sci-fi screen. You good? Probe it hard up top to continue!

#1. XENOMORPH (ALIEN)

One could easily bestow a top honor to the Alien Queen of Jimmy Cameron’s sequel – the sheer size, scale and scope of that big bitch is no joke – but come on, without the face-hugging Xenomorph impregnating Jonny Hurt in Ridley Scott’s original, what are we talking about? But beyond that, have you ever noticed the subtle theme of rape and impregnation ALIEN closely adheres to? Think about it? The alien creature impregnates a male, erects into a hyper-aggressive, phallic-headed monster that chases our female lead through a labyrinthine series of vaginal passageways and fallopian tunnels…all conducted on a spacecraft referred to as Mother no less. Endless allegories of alienation abound…bet!

#2. SHAPESHIFTER (THE THING)

Oh what unadulterated fan-boy fun did Johnny the Carpenter have in paying homage to his filmmaking hero Howard Hawkes in the graphically gruesome ’82 sci-fi masterpiece THE THING. Seriously, this is a damn near perfect flick! And what makes the heightened sense of paranoia so damn effective is the replicable nature of the thawed out shape-shifting extraterrestrial. Who will be inhabited next? And how will be able to tell? Such a deep-seeded fear of the unknown…coupled with the freakishly frightening physical manifestation of The Thing…is what makes evocative E.T so damn terrifying. I mean…that mutated dog-beast? That mutant-spider-crab-legged thingy…that whipping tensile tongue…the large jagged chest-jaws…simply unlike anyTHING!

#3. PREDATOR (PREDATOR)

Legend has it that Mr. Muscles from Brussels himself, Jean-Claude Van Damme, was originally cast then fired for being too much of whiny pussy before suiting up as the Alien Warrior in PREDATOR? The irony? The gnarly design of the Alien’s face of course resembles an exotically fanged vagina. Go f*ckin’ figure! All trivia aside, I’m annually impressed with how well PREDATOR has held up as a whole over the years, in particular the game-changing, eye-popping VFX of the nascent KNB crew (Kurtzman, Nicotero, Berger). Sure some of it looks dated, but between the translucent camouflage and then the hulking frame, dreadlocks and foreboding amalgam of the organic and technological – PREDATOR shall remain chiseled in bronze for all eternity.

#4. POD PEOPLE (INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS)

Granted, there isn’t a lead alien or even a single standout extraterrestrial of note in (at least) the original INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, but because the film has inspired at least two very solid remakes (Phillip Kaufman in 1978 and Abel Ferrara in 1993), The Pod People are too damn infamous to omit. Of course, originally a great allegory for the fear and paranoia of the Red Scare and Soviet communism – through the years the pod people have come to represent The Other. It’s a grand metaphor about the nature of identity, thankfully assessed more and more subtly through the years (the 50s version is great but very heavy-handed).

#5. AMORPHOUS GOO (THE BLOB)

Goddamn do I love the reheated ’88 version of THE BLOB! Hell I even think the 50s version is campy good fun…but what makes the 80s remake so f*ckin’ cool is just how director Chuck Russell got to show any and everything the strictures of the original could not. And Russell doesn’t simply revel in the graphic carnage…my man cranks that shite to volume 10! Seriously, that nasty bubbling blob of amorphous pink goo turns into a vicious slasher villain by the films end. And damn is it a blast! Oh, in case you’re wondering how the finale was achieved – where the massive blob is seen in crystallized form – yeah, purple-dyed rock salt was used. Just one example of how 9 of the $19 million budget was allocated on FX alone!

#6. PARASITIC SLUGS (NIGHT OF THE CREEPS)

Okay okay, so there isn’t one specific parasitic slug to separate itself from the rout (although we could cite Michael Rooker as one in the quasi-remake SLITHER), the invasive alien-monster-snails in NIGHT OF THE CREEPS are just too cool to overlook. I mean, skin-crawling enough is the thought of giant black slugs rapidly slithering into your mouth so it can eat your brain…but the immediate aftermath? F*ck me! Yeah, these sucker’s aren’t just content on chowing down on your noodle…these sick little bastards then turn you into a bumbling, mouth-spuming, flesh-decaying lobotomy case. A zombified host!

#7. BACK-WALKER (XTRO)

I don’t give a squirt of piss that the unknown ’83 horror flick XTRO is a flagrantly gypped ALIEN/THING hybrid…the nasty fang-flashing E.T. in the film is no f*cking joke! Just look at that little limber sumbitch! Cheating a bit, there’s actually a couple of worthy aggro-aliens in XTRO, the one seen above and the one seen heading this article. As for the former, word is producers simply hired a mime to crawl on his back in order to create the look of the creepy back-bending baddie. Hell of a job, no?! It’s also worth noting that for as unabashedly unoriginal XTRO, it’s unnerving alien design was good enough to inspire two sequels, XTRO 2: THE SECOND ENCOUNTER (1990) and XTRO 3: WATCH THE SKIES (1995).

#8. CREATURE (CREATURE)

To those quick to call out the 1985 sci-fi horror joint CREATURE as a simple ersatz ALIEN rip, well okay, I can’t much argue with you. However, I can perhaps shed an interesting factoid about this slimy-giant-drooling-reptilian-monster seen in the flick, also known as THE TITAN FIND (per the Jupiter space mission in the story). I’ll have you all know that the same FX crew that worked on CREATURE did an even more bang up job under the direction of James Cameron a year later on ALIENS. So, part crib…part muse! Should be good enough to cut CREATURE a little slack, even if it is on the dopily derivative side. Or put another way, bad movie with a pretty f*ckin’ frightening alien antagonist.

#9. GIANT MAGGOT (GALAXY OF TERROR)

I’ve been a consistent drummer for the irredeemably low-grade-trash-flick GALAXY OF TERROR for some time now – the presence of a Sid Haig and a pre-Freddy Bob Englund being secondary reasons behind the single true one. Holy hell. At one point in this pre-SPHERE-like sci-fi horror tale about a spaceship that travels into a realm where your worst fears manifest into reality – a giant blood-covered maggot accosts and rapes a helpless woman. I shite you not! A woman is graphically – beyond disturbingly so – sexually molested by a huge horny maggot. I thought I was hallucinating, if not hoping. Alas, the next day I researched the flick and found a whole subsection of fans just as puzzled as I. So yeah, anecdotally, GALAXY OF TERROR earns a top spot!

#10. BLOOD DRINKING CLOWN (KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE)

This just in…clowns are fu*cking frightening! But if you’re anything like I was as a child growing up in the 80s, glued to HBO, biannually both tortured and thrilled to see that fat, jolly but nasty killer klown amble alone silently into some kind of basement storage-room…pull out his enormous krazy straw…stab it into a giant hanging cotton-candy cocoon so he can suck the fresh blood out some poor bastard dangling lifelessly…if you’re anything like I was…yeah clowns are doubly troublesome. What a weird ass scene to bear witness to at age 6! Not for nothing, but so is the gigantic head-klown that comes a crashing down on marionette strings in the final act. Good heavens!