Last Updated on August 3, 2021
TROLL 2
What I would give to see a DISASTER ARTIST style behind the scenes film about the making of TROLL 2. This movie, completely tonally and stylistically different from the first TROLL, is the epitome of shit cinema. Unintentionally funny and completely terrible, TROLL 2 is the stuff nightmares are made of and not because it is scary. This is a movie you have to experience to appreciate why it is worthy of ROCKY HORROR levels of fandom.
MAC AND ME
There is a long running gag on Conan O’Brien’s talk show where Paul Rudd says he will share a clip from his new movie and it ends up being a scene from MAC AND ME. The blatant E.T. rip-off has become a cult classic since it was initially released due to the pervasive McDonald’s branding through the movie as well as the poor special effects. The movie does not hold up well but it certainly has turned into quite the meme.
UNITED PASSIONS
Somehow, FIFA managed to produce a film about their own history and got actors like Gerard Depardieu, Sam Neill and Tim Roth to appear in it. Roth plays former FIFA head Sep Blatter who appears like a hero who cleans up the soccer organization when in reality he was being taken down for all sorts of criminal enterprises just as the film was hitting theaters. Roth has since disowned the film which was already painful to watch but now becomes quite hilarious.
THE UNDERGROUND COMEDY MOVIE
Many people actually like this collection of comedy sketches directed by informercial host Vince Offer. Recognizable faces like Michael Clarke Duncan and Damon Wayans appear in the unconnected skits that range from competent to amateurish. The result is a subpar mash of things that are supposed to be funny but would never even make it onto shows like SNL or MadTV. Perfectly suited for YouTube audiences, this “movie” is an affront to what makes real comedic sketch movies like KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE so funny.
TITANIC: THE LEGEND GOES ON
Right after James Cameron made box office history with TITANIC, this animated debacle was quickly dubbed from the original Italian. Three years in the making, THE LEGEND GOES ON is poorly animated to begin with, but producers decided to recut and excise entire sections of the film while adding unnecessary one-liners and even an anachronistic rapping dog that has nothing to do with anything in the film. This movie was already terrible but the new version is an embarassment…of riches for anyone who loves bad movies.
BALLISTIC: ECKS VS SEVER
Often ranked as one of the worst movies ever made, this Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu action flick was meant to ride the wave of MATRIX hype but instead somehow is worse than the cheapest direct to Redbox action movies. Banderas does everything he can to be a badass here but keeps getting derailed by terrible dialogue and awful choreographed fight scenes.
MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE
A staple of Mystery Science Theater 3000, MANOS is just bad in every sense of the word. But, like PLAN 9, it as a charm to it that makes you laugh when you should be taking it seriously. When a film crosses that line, it can never return, but MANOS still manages to be ridiculously bad enough that it serves as a good testing ground for the burgeoning heckler.
PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE
Ed Wood was someone only hardcore movie buffs would know until Tim Burton brought him back into the mainstream with his biopic. While Wood’s movies are certainly not good, they have evolved into charming kitsch that are fun and safe to watch. The nostalgia factor remains high with this old movies but Wood’s have an innocence to them that you cannot help but enjoy.
FREDDY GOT FINGERED
There was a time when Tom Green was one of the most popular entertainers in the world. I am ashamed to say I fell into the zeitgeist along with the rest of you. While he has faded into obscurity, his studio-backed feature film remains a testament to how much Hollywood will pony up to try and milk a fad while it is hot.
GROSS OUT
The most obscure film on this list, GROSS OUT is virtually impossible to find anywhere. Having watched it on VHS years ago, I struggled to find any clips of the forgotten movie that had a budget lower than the cheapest porno flick. Featuring a loose story of three spoiled siblings trying to gross out their mother to gain an inheritance, this movie tries to be gross but is just awful. Even John Waters would be ashamed.
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