Top 10 Halloween Movies (We Rank the Franchise)

Last Updated on August 3, 2021

Happy Horrorween you sick and twisted f*ckos! Best day of the year right here, isn’t?! And on a Friday? All living hell is about to find its way to the streets! Let’s all howl with rejoice! But before we get all decked and dolled-up, wrecked and balled-up – first off – remember to be safe amid your fun having, with an extra eye out for the wee little ones out there who don’t know better. Now, on to the goodies! As a way to help get your blood bubbling black and orange, we though what better way than to devote this week’s Top 10 to all things HALLOWEEN. Yup, I mean the franchise! If you’re anything like us around here, you know there’s nothing better than spending your annual October 31st by getting your HALLOWEEN marathon on. But what if you don’t want to run the flicks chronologically? What if you don’t know what order to watch them in? Don’t fret folks, we got you covered as we rank our Top 10 Halloween Flicks here! Check it out! Who would you rank the series?

#1. HALLOWEEN (1978)

Can’t lay the foundation without The Carpenter! Come to think of it, wasn’t Jesus a carpenter? Well there it is, we can then deduce the Holy Father of HALLOWEEN is indeed Johnny C., who, excuse the terrible pun, absolutely NAILED what’s become the ultimate example of more-is-less slasher greatness! Never-mind the fecund franchise and formidable foe it spawned, just as a standalone horror flick, HALLOWEEN has to be among the three finest American slasher joints ever lit up. The skin-crawling two-note score (by Carpenter himself), the suspenseful long takes, the inspired casting of Pleasance and Curtis, and of course, the inimitably cold Shatner mask that has become the stuff of horror lore…these things combine to make the sweetest cinematic Halloween treat of all!

#2. HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988)

One of the main reasons why we all grew up loving the great genre vet Danielle Harris (always loved her in LAST BOYSCOUT and DON’T TELL MOM as well) – aside from Myer’s powdery Clay Aiken Pagliacci mask – is because HALLOWEEN 4 is easily one of the best sequels of the stash! Actually, it’s my favorite! Not sure if it’s the way the simplified slasher template got back to basics, coming around full circle to where it all started, using neice Jamie as an odd sort of surrogate to an equal-aged Michael Myers from the beginning of Carpenter’s original. Whatever it is – the tone, story, pacing, unremitting carnage – THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS after a 7-year hiatus is always a much welcomed one!

#3. HALLOWEEN II (1981)

You know what, HALLOWEEN II is damn good horror sequel. It really is. Actually, I’d argue if it’s predecessor wasn’t enshrined in the horror hall of fame, it’d likely get even more play than it does. And I even go on to argue that the main reason why the sequel is such an effective one is…it feels like an organic extension of the original. A natural appendage. And why is that? I’d argue it’s because the screenplay was written by the same cats who penned the original. Yup, John Carpenter and Debra Hill! Only difference is Rick Rosenthal directed the flick instead of Carpenter, who went off to do ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK that year. But the seeds of authenticity are sewn…just as they were sewn in my shorts at the sight of Pam Sue Shoop’s huge tits in the hottub!

#4. HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982)

Long cast aside as the neglected red-headed stepchild of the HALLOWEEN franchise, taken on its own merits as a standalone effort, HALLOWEEN III is a pretty damn cool little festive-fright-flick! Now I’ll admit, I too was for decades in the dismissive camp, easy to scoff at the notion of a Myers-less movie as even worthy of the HALLOWEEN namesake. But as older age has opened my mind to give the joint another stiff toke, there’s no denying that, expectations aside, SEASON OF THE WITCH hits incredibly hard. What I dig about it is how it creates its own self-contained mythology, and without relying on the tried slasher tenets, finds a way to be almost as scary as the rest.

#5. HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1989)

In what’s probably the last really decent if not serviceable HALLOWEEN sequel, THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS actually sort of marks an end of an era as well. Made in 1989, we wouldn’t be treated with another ghastly October 31st on film until the mid-90s…and you best believe the half dozen years in the interim said a lot about the state of horror flicks. Slashers of the 90s simply aren’t the same as the ones from the 80s, and really, it could be argued that Michael Myers’ stronghold on the horror world really began to loosen after his failed REVENGE attempt. Of course, the mere appearance of Jaime a year on (Danielle Harris) instantly reminds us of the love of part 4, and by continuous proxy, earns its own adoration.

#6. HALLOWEEN 6: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1995)

Not even the wry charm of Pauly Rudd could escape the dripping blade of Mr. Myers. Boy did he try though in the ’95 reboot THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS, the same year he was sniffing Silverstone’s panties in CLUELESS. Most notable for being the final appearance of Dr. Sam Loomis (the great Donald Pleasance), a character I swear grew more affinity than hatred for Michael as the years went on. Even in the original 78 film, there’s an odd, unspeakable connection between the two. However, by 1995, horror cinema simply wasn’t what it was in 1978, and as a result, THE CURSE isn’t all that lasting (would have been had they recast Danielle Harris!)

#7. HALLOWEEN (2007)

On the whole, I haven’t met too many supporters of Rob Zombie’s wild overhaul of a tried and true character. Point blank, his HALLOWEEN mythology simply didn’t live up to what Carpenter laid down three decades before. Sure there are a couple of standout scenes, mostly involving Scout Taylor Compton in her skivvies, but for as hotly anticipated as Zombie’s HALLOWEEN made fan boys around the globe – especially after DEVIL’S REJECTS and a 5 year HALLOWEEN hiatus – shite didn’t measure up. I can say I personally dug it more than the sequel he did a couple years later (wow, a sequel of a remake of a remake), but that’s hardly saying much. Let’s hope whoever gets the nod to finally restore order with the next HALLOWEEN rehash finally gets the shite right!

#8. HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEARS LATER (1998)

Even at 15 years old, I remember coming out of the theater from HALLOWEEN H20: 20 YEAR LATER with my friends feeling pretty damn underwhelmed. Where was the carnage?! I recall LL Cool J getting whacked by a security gate. I recall that lame-ass reunion shot of Laurie and Michael, as H20 marked the first HALLOWEEN flick Jamie Lee Curtis appeared in since 1981. I remember thinking, even as a kid, that what a tackily overdrawn and even maudlin moment that was. I wasn’t buying that shite for a second. Funny though, have you seen H20 recently? Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Michelle Williams, Janet Leigh, Adam Arkin…not a bad cast. The real kicker though? Steve Miner directed this sucker, the dude who gave us FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, 3D and HOUSE.

#9. HALLOWEEN 2 (2009)

Oh Rob Zombie, what the fuck bro?! No need sir, no need at all. But you’ve done did it, done did it indeed. You’ve alienated a fan-base by bastardizing a once beloved horror folk-hero and turned him into a lumbering hillbilly fresh off a Korn video-shoot. Just no need, sir. Now, I will give it up for that angrily excessive slaughter-job of nurse Octavia Spencer (pre Oscar mind you) – good god was that brutal – but come on! There’s a reason why there’s yet to be a HALLOWEEN 3 since the ’09 debacle.

#10. HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION (2002)

So, when Busta Rhymes is second on the call sheet…uh, behind Jamie Lee f*cking Curtis?!? Yeah, that’s instant grounds for dead last place in the ranking of all the HALLOWEEN pictures to date. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Flip Mode and Leaders of the New, but Jesus, just when you thought LL in H20 was bad…good lord! Moving on, HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION is a terrible picture, for a bevy of faults. Stunt-casting aside, way too hip did flick try to be with its Real World style hidden-camera, found footage angle that really just ended up feeling like the furthest thing from a true HALLOWEEN flick. Not to mention the despicable Jamie Lee sendoff after her quick extended cameo. Insult to injury, Rick Rosenthal (HALLOWEEN II) actually shat this steaming pile.