Categories: JoBlo Originals

Natalie Portman’s 10 Hottest Moments

There are very few women that have started out as teenage crushes and blossomed into full-blown awkward obsessions in Hollywood. Somewhere down the line they usually just stop being important. Natalie Portman is important. She’s held on to our hearts through the decades by maturing into a fine actress, becoming a major part of the most important film franchise ever made, slowly but surely bringing sex into her repertoire of skills, and staying normal while doing it all. As BLACK SWAN hits theaters this week I thought it would be a good time to look back at some of her shining moments. And her ass.

1. Closer

See, nudity doesn’t always conquer my brainwaves. There’s just something about her character in this film that adds to the hottness of an already smoking piece to look at. It’s hard to watch LEON after shit like this. And she’s not wearing socks.

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2. Hotel Chevalier

I really hate the fact that she’s wearing those socks in this prologue to THE DARJEERLING LIMITED. I don’t even really know why though. It is because she’s not completely nude? Is it because they look like some teenagers dirty gym throwaways? Did socks do something terrible to me when I was a child? Nice bum.

3. Your Highness (Trailer)

Yes, this inclusion is solely based on the trailer. Yes, it deserves it. Nat looks incredible in this two minute spot. there she is kicking some serious butt. There she is hamming it up with Kenny Powers. There she is…… look at that ass.

4. Black Swan

There are a couple roles I like my hotties to portray at least once. Since she was already a stripper it’s only natural that I get to cross ballerina off my list. Now, if her next fews roles include a gymnast and a school teacher whom just happens to be naughty, I’ll be all set.

5. Attack of the Clones

It’s no Leia bikini but was still a fine break from all the CGI and melodramatic dialogue about sand. I don’t think her midriff was digitally enhanced but you can never be too sure with these films. Maybe in a future special-extended-collector’s edition she’ll have more abs.

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6. Garden State

Between filming the last two STAR WARS films, Natalie thought it important to remind us she was still a playful young lady that likes to go swimming in her undies every now and again. Yay, her. Yay, us!

7. Goya’s Ghost

Another period piece that stresses the costumes and funny talk. The only difference here is that they threw in some bondage and a quality nude scene (combined!). If we learned anything here it’s that side-boob beats cleavage. Count on it.

8. V For Vendetta

It’s the true test for any Hollywood starlet who thinks she might be beautiful. Shave off all the hair on your head and see if your fanclub closes down. Natalie passed. I just want to rub it!

9. Where The Heart Is

This was the moment everyone took a step back and said “Whoa, Mathilda is hot as hell. When did that happen?” As a bonus, she was of legal age so we were all free of that creepy feeling. You know the feeling.

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10. The Other Boleyn Girl

If nothing more than a film version of ‘The Tudors’, this movie gives us some old fashioned Natalie cleavage and the chance to watch her use sex as a weapon. Even if it does take her 30 minutes to undress.

Honorable Mention: The SNL Rap

One of the funniest moments on Saturday Night Live in the last twenty years is all Natalie. While I definitely didn’t expect all the f-bombs and otherwise filthy shit flying out of her mouth, but I think what was more surprising is that she brought me to tears from laughter.

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Published by
Jim Law