HORROR TEN SPOT: Top 10 Villains I Want 2 See On Survivor

Last Updated on August 3, 2021

This week let’s take a look at a pop-culture mash-up that I for one would pay good money to see. We’ll take some favorite horror baddies and look seriously at how they would fare on the CBS juggernaut known as SURVIVOR. Hell, this list could take care of a number of VS. movies and a Celebrity Survivor all in one fell swoop.

So check out the list, then Spit Bullets on who you think should be on the island, and who would be the top mad dog.

1. Hannibal Lecter, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS

Occupation: Psychiatrist; Luxury Item: Loofah

Has there ever been a character that was more perfectly created to play SURVIVOR? I don’t think so. Lecter is smarter than anybody, tougher than anybody, and as violent as you please. I mean Richard Hatch managed to control the game just by being naked and lazy. You wanna tell me Lecter wouldn’t own the whole f*cking island? As a bonus, he could eat Jeff Probst on the final episode.

2. Leatherface, THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

Occupation: Butcher; Luxury Item: “Remember the Alamo” duvet

Athletic? Check. Dumb and easily manipulated? Check. Willing to eat anything? Check. Leatherface is the perfect guy to take with you to the finals. He’s unflinchingly loyal, extremely useful in challenges, and absolutely no threat to win the whole thing. Because who’s going to vote for a pawn to be king? Nobody

3. Predator, PREDATOR

Even without all his toys, any Predator worth his trophy collection is made for a competition like Survivor. Tough, smart, totally into wilderness throw downs and what not. If not for the fact that the dreaded dreadlocked one has gotten a little soft over the years from the whole invisibility thing, he’d probably take this down. But alas a disappointing third is where he ends up.

4. Amanda, SAW

Occupation: Apprentice Life Coach; Luxury Item: Zinc Oxide

A couple of important aspects to Amanda’s inclusion on the list. Most important is that every cast needs some eye candy, and this lassie would rock a bikini well. Plus we know Jigsaw is always planning ahead, so he’d obviously make sure that since he couldn’t win, he’d have somebody doing his bidding as the game got down to it. Poor Amanda’s downfall, though, is that she’s just not the real deal. Her exit interview will no doubt be the most entertaining meltdown of the season.

5. Jason Voorhees, FRIDAY THE 13TH

Occupation: Population Control Specialist; Luxury Item: Hockey Mask

It was a dead heat whether to bring Myers or Voorhees into the mix. They essentially play the same type, and you know that show isn’t going to double cast. Ultimately it came down to a coin flip, much as I assume some of the final SURVIVOR casting does in real life. Once in the mix, Jason plays the dumb athlete role, dominating challenges with his strength and surprising speed. But that makes him a constant threat to win immunity, so as soon as he fails at the puzzle challenge, his cast mates take the opportunity to end his run.

6. Annie Wilkes, MISERY

Occupation: Nurse; Luxury Item: The Complete Paul Sheldon

I don’t care how many people you’ve killed, you gotta respect Annie Wilkes. What she will do to enforce her ideas about right and wrong would make the most sadistic murderer proud. Unfortunately for her she is both unattractive and uncompromising. Now it may not be fair, but the world is not a big fan of headstrong women, especially when they aren’t hot. Annie’s forthrightness will see her getting a big ‘ole left field sledgehammer when she’s outmaneuvered out of camp.

7. Norman Bates, PSYCHO

Occupation: Small Business Owner; Luxury Item: Wig

Norman was just playing a waiting game from the word go. A shy, cross-dressing, schizophrenic guy who gives you creepy looks and walks about with an odd lanky gait is going to creep people out. Even amongst this crowd you know some of them are thinking, “I can’t put my finger on it, but that dude gives me the willies.” He does his best to fit in, but eviction from the tribe is just a matter of convenient timing.

8. Pinhead, HELLRAISER

Occupation: Collector; Luxury Item: Pen

No more shark in the water so the Pinster should be king fishmonger with all those delicious hooks at his disposal. No doubt the tribe would put up with a lot to keep him around. But when you get right down to it, the mixture of his effete British leather-clad S&M vibe is probably too much for most of the conservative leaning maniacs in horror today – no matter how much sushi The Pin could provide.

9. Jaws, JAWS

Occupation: Anti-Floatation Engineer; Luxury Item: Toothbrush

As long as it revolved around a salt-water location, Jaws could be a serious SURVIVOR stud. He’d kick ass in the water challenges since no one would even want to get in with him, and the fishing that many a contestant has made their bones with would be easily ruled by Bruce. The problem is he’s going to get targeted early because he’s a huge threat, and the cast has that oxygen tank that Jigsaw brought along to finish this shark off right.

10. Jigsaw, SAW

Occupation: Life Coach; Luxury Item: Oxygen Tank

Every cast of SURVIVOR seems to feature at least a couple of older folks who are destined to get picked off early because they can’t hang in the physical challenges. Jigsaw would definitely be that guy. Can’t blame him, after all he does have cancer, but his superior intellect has no chance to come into play before his physical limitations get him booted.