Whew! Had to get that out.
Now let’s take a look at some of the best vampire flicks that Hollywood has graced our eyeballs with, so that you can maybe use the T-word for good and use someone’s freshly born interest in our beloved genre to introduce them to some seriously great blood sucking.
Whether you love the picks, or they make you want to say “Bite me!”, spit ‘dem bullets below!
This dusty badass is so full of cinematic awesomeness that it’s hard to know where to start. Well that’s not true. Start with the bar scene. You know the one. At least if you don’t then go buy the damn DVD right now! Vampire films almost always bring plenty of atmosphere, but what they often lack, and Near Dark provides in spades, is context and heart. The moral complexities of this particular lifestyle were never explored in quite so perfect a manner.
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Here we return to the horror comedy concept, which is almost always dicey. However, in this case the comedy is funny, and the horror is legitimately scary at times. Oddly it helps having Grace Jones as the lead vampire, because she’s weird enough that it helps make the whole concept seem reasonable in a way. Plus you get the important lesson that formica is a dangerous business when it comes to night crawlers.
Did anybody else forget that this particular bloodsucker was directed by Joel Schumacher? Well done dude! We may all love Kiefer as Jack Bauer these days, but back in the day he couldn’t play anybody that wasn’t dark and villainous. Add in a great soundtrack, some Jason Patric, a little Jamie Gertz, and The Coreys, well damn it all if you don’t have a great time coming atcha live!
Let’s be clear. Kate Beckinsale in leather is plenty on it’s own to be worthy of a place on this list. And then you add in motherf*cking werewolves. Are you serious! Awesome. On top of that the script was a helluva lot deeper than expected with downright Shakespearian tones to it. I’ve rarely come out of a movie wanting to see a sequel so badly.
Chris Sarandon manages to own in this horrorcom that somehow takes a lot of the vampire conventions that Lugosi helped establish and makes them work while also making fun of them. The whole idea of a vamp in your neighborhood that you know about, but nobody believes you, because vamps don’t exist, is good times for all.
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I love, love, love the first movie in this trilogy. Hell I named my first son Deacon. But the second entry builds on the origin story of the first, and with the outstanding direction of one Guillermo del Toro, just flat out soars. We’re given a legit look at the concept of evolution in regards to the undead, creating new baddies who are unf*cking believable. Not many sequels can live up to the promise set by the first. This is a unique case where it exceeds the original.
A lot of people get mad at the epic romantic grandeur of this pic, but barring the grating performance from Keanu “Whoa” Reeves, I actually dug this sucker. It had plenty of plasma and vampire stuff, but also showed a ton of heart, mixed with great casting overall. There may have been too much fluttering silk in it, but I can forgive it for that.
George Romero is the man for so many reasons, but his underappreciated reinvention of the vampire movie is a big reason why. There isn’t much that’s sexy or amazing about this fairly realistic look at just how vampirism might play out in the real world. But as a fresh take on what had come before? Genius!
I was surprised to find that I really liked this movie. At the risk of sending those who hated my take on Bret Easton Ellis into apoplexy, I have to admit that Anne Rice’s writing has never really done it for me. But homoerotic subtext and period costumes be damned, this is a helluva fine look at the cost of longing drawn out over centuries. I didn’t even mind Tom Cruise with poofy blonde hair.
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I generally try to avoid featuring soft core horror in these lists, because while I certainly enjoy that sub-genre, it is a very different animal than “true” horror. However, this little gem is a surprisingly well shot story that just happens to feature tons of lesbian bloodlust. And that bloodlust is what lifts this puppy above the fray. When the lead duo eat, they f*cking eat! It’s raw, sexual, and animalistic in the best possible way.
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