HORROR TEN SPOT: Top 10 Horror Vehicles

October 17th 2008, 6:12pm

Last Updated on August 3, 2021

IMO one of the often overlooked aspects of some great horror are the vehicles. Whether you’re talking about a car refusing to start for the hundrity-millionth time in a slasher flick, a badass hero speed bucket, or a villain’s preferred tool of destruction, there is an impressive lineage of marauding motor motherf*ckers to enjoy.

So what makes one of these four-wheeled, or more-wheeled asskickers stand out from the crowd? Easy. Look and power. Added weaponry isn’t necessary, but certainly doesn’t hurt.

So c’mon take a ride with me. And if I’ve missed you favorite driving demon, then spit those bullets below!

1. 1958 Plymouth Fury, CHRISTINE

Christine is one mean, single-minded bitch and ya gotta love her. The concept of a self-regenerating, supernaturally possessed car may be a tough one to swallow when you first hear it, but the strong hand of John Carpenter took a pretty sweet Stephen King tale and turned it into one of the few successful cinematic adaptations of King’s work. I’d put this girl up against anything else on the list without hesitation.

2. 1977 White Western Star 4864, MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE

How amazing is the Green Goblin/Happy Toyz truck? Well it’s a big part of turning a largely unsuccessful movie into a cult classic. Let’s be clear. This is a movie that features death by soda machine, yet the grinning mug of that comic villain adds enough creepy personality to the goings on that it all kinda works somehow. Impressive.

3. 1970 Chevy Nova, DEATH PROOF

I love Mickey Rourke, but whatever the reason that he dropped out of this project I gotta say I’m glad, because Kurt Russell was the perfect fit to drive that absolutely beautiful car into a group of lovely ladies who turned into a group of lovely limbs. Oh, and Rose McGowan gets the business from this “death proof” car too. Man she dies pretty.

4. Frankenstein’s Car, DEATH RACE 2000

Let’s just ignore the limp dicked re-imagining that assaulted our eyes recently and go back to the original which is a razor sharp political satire filled with massive mayhem and as high a body count as you could wish for. Leading the pack is David Carradine driving a brutal, toothy killing machine. I can’t imagine how anyone other than nursing home attendants could not love this people pummler.

5. Blood Car, BLOOD CAR

Maybe it’s just the luck of the draw that world events have made the concept of this flick so appealing, but damn if I wouldn’t seriously consider getting me a car that runs on blood. I mean that lawnmower in the trunk is just awesome! And fuel efficient! So you get the chance to go green and red all at the same time. Love it!

6. Dead Reckoning, LAND OF THE DEAD

Not to be outdone by some remake slinging newcomer, George Romero made the centerpiece of his return to the Dead series a big badass RV that basically appears to have the ability to end the world. I mean they don’t explicitly say that the sucker has nukes on board, but it wouldn’t surprise me. Somehow this Tom Selleck approved mobile battlestation is more of a concern in this flick than the living dead who are picking up nifty skills like wielding weapons and strategery. I wonder if I can get one on layaway.

7. 1955 Peterbilt 351, DUEL

Did the previous entry do anything for you? Because it was totally set up by this early entry from a little known director by the name of Spielberg. It’s one of the ultimate tales of a faceless and unrelenting assailant bringing bad juju upon a hapless protagonist. In simpler terms it’s one long and nasty beatdown, yo!

8. 1941 Chevy COE, JEEPERS CREEPERS

The creepiest thing about this flick is obviously director Victor Salva, but second on the list is that damn BEATNGU license plate attached to a rusty truck with a psycho driver. I personally find the daylight madness on the highway to be significantly more disturbing than anything that comes afterwards. A great play on the fears of traveling on a lonely, deserted road.

9. Reinforced Bus, DAWN OF THE DEAD (remake)

Just about everybody was surprised that the Dawn remake sort of kicked ass. Then again none of us knew who the hell this upstart Zach Snyder was just yet. For the most part the movie succeeded by not reminding us it was a remake, but one notable area that outplayed the original is the pimped out death ride that the folks put together in that mall parking garage. Anything on wheels with slots for chainsaws is alright by me!

10. Unstartable Cars, BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON

It’s impossible to have a list like this and not give a shout out to the old standard of a car that just won’t start. Of course this brilliant reconstruction of the aggressively deconstructed slasher genre turns that old plot device on its head in a thoroughly enjoyable, and eventually messy, manner.