HORROR TEN SPOT: Top 10 Gifts

December 11th 2008, 2:50pm

Last Updated on August 3, 2021

As the holidays approach you may occasionally find yourself at a loss for what to get you favorite horror fan. Horror has fallen prey to bad ratings decisions of late, and bad demographic targeting, so even the old standby of getting someone that perfect DVD has become tougher and tougher (although The Arrow’s Top 10 of 2008 will definitely give you good guidance).

Plus, unless you’ve managed to pawn a tapestry that your great aunt left you after having Antiques Roadshow tell you it’s worth a half mil, then cash might be too tight to go looking at anything truly stratospheric like a date with Tiffany Shepis, or a Bruce Campbell experience involving more beers than undead.

So here’s a list of gift ideas to help you out. Ranging from quirky to awesome, expensive-ish to cheaparoo, there’s a little something here for everyone. And if you’ve got other ideas then spit bullets with links to let your fellow arrowheads in on your knowledge.

1. FREDDY KRUEGER GLOVE

Wood rises simply at the thought of this amazing craftsmanship as a gift. Can you just imagine opening a box and discovering you own a handcrafted Krueger glove? Better hope it’s wrapped in tissues ’cause you’re probably going to need them, and not for tears wink, wink. Besides, you know Robert Englund would approve.

2. BRUNDLEFLY STATUE

Wow. Just f*cking wow! Are you serious? A Brundlefly keepsake of any type is going to rock no matter what, but a statue with this level of gooey detail and the ability to use those creepy eyes to scare off one-night stands that next morning. What an amazing synthesis of form and function. Genius!

3. FRIDAY THE 13TH CAP

A hint for any ladies wishing to court The Arrow. This would be a very good gift. Trust me. For the rest of us it’d be pretty damn cool too. I personally think wearing it rally cap style is probably the way to go so that you can freak out anybody trying to get the jump on you, but no matter how you wear it this is one of the coolest pieces of F13 stuff I’ve seen.

4. SHAUN OF THE DEAD 12 INCH FIGURE

There are so many great scenes from SHAUN OF THE DEAD that it’s hard to pick a favorite. That’s why having an action figure that features 30+ points of articulation is a special kind of perfect. Don’t worry, it’s not as dirty as it sounds. Just know you can equip Shaun with a Cricket bat and have at whatever you want to have at.

5. THE THING T-SHIRT

Want a t-shirt that will send chills down the spine of any true genre fan? Well here’s your motherf*cker. This is one sweet, sweet reminder of the fact that while remakes as a general rule have been horrible, it is possible for a remake to kick ass, take names and cause the right kind of nightmares. Thanks John Carpenter, you grumpy sunuvabitch!

6. PINHEAD BOBBLEHEAD

To try and describe the unrelenting awesomeness at play here might actually cause my head to explode. Which I suppose would in some ways be thematically appropriate. Still, I’d rather keep my noggin intact, so let’s just say that if you have a genre fan you’re purchasing gifts for, they will love you for this one!

7. CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON DIORAMA

Not many other horror monsters outside of the “big three” are this iconic. CFTBL has always been one of my favorite memories as I caught it often as a Saturday matinee when I was growing up. You also have the upside that the scene depicted is kinda romantic, which could work in both the gift giver and gift receiver’s favor.

8. FRANKENSTEIN CHROME BELT BUCKLE

Probably depends upon where you live as to your opinion of giant belt buckles. Some rock them. Some think they just make you a c*ck. But either way, it’d be hard to hate on anybody working this Universal classic near their man stick or woman tunnel as the case may be. Tasty, tasty sauce.

9. ALIEN VS. PREDATOR DIORAMA

I’m just going to warn you now that you’ll see the word “diorama” way too many times in this Top 10. Not my fault OK? Puss-ish names aside though, this is one kickass milieu giving us an awesome glance at two of our favorite monsters breaking it down old school. Just check out the detail. It’s breath-taking.

10. DEXTER WALL CALENDAR

What better way to greet the new year than staring at the mug of America’s favorite criminally insane forensic blood analyst. Sure you could go for a cheese or beef cake calendar for you horror fan, but all that jazz is so readily available on the net that it’s become almost boring. Instead bring a little wet red mayhem into your beloved’s life!