Categories: JoBlo Originals

Halle’s 10 Hottest Roles

There was a time not too long ago when the hottest hottie in the land hailed from Ohio, won an Oscar for banging a guy named Billy Bob, and dabbled in the occasional hit & run. Her name is Halle Berry and as her spotlight dwindles into a nightlight I thought there was no better place than a Ten Spot to remind us of all the good times. Nudity = Academy Awards. Remember that Halle and get back up on the podium.

1. Ginger Knowles – SWORDFISH (2001)

Absolute perfection. You just don’t get much hotter than this woman in this movie. The exposed breasts were great but I always come back to that moment above where we get to see the entire package wrapped up in some lacy underwear and a wire-tap. Sometimes you just like to imagine what’s underneath. Then you go rent MONSTER’S BALL and lock your bedroom door.

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2. Jinx – DIE ANOTHER DAY (2002)

That scene above – that’s the best thing about this movie. Back when Bond films kept making Ian Fleming role over in his grave and light himself on fire while ripping off whatever flesh he had left, the thing was to get really hot Bond Girls and let deaf field mice write the scripts. Nothing changed here.

3. Patience Phillips – CATWOMAN (2004)

I’m not going to lie to you here – I haven’t even seen this movie and I probably never will. I include this role strictly because of the promotional images that flooded the internet before anyone got to review the movie. This is what I was talking about with Storm in X-MEN, cleavage is the greatest super-power around.

4. Leticia Musgrove – MONSTER’S BALL (2001)

A little too crazy in the sack for me but still hot enough to make an appearance here. Other than the sex scenes though, she doesn’t do anything that makes her hot. She looks like a run-down hooker, constantly yells at the fat kid, and bangs an old white guy as soon as her baby’s daddy is buried.

5. Rowena Price – PERFECT STRANGERS (2007)

I’m loving the older, maturing Halle. That woman you see above is 40 years old and still rocking it like a sorority pledge. This is why I still believe there’s much more left in the gratuitous nudity barrel for this SMILF (Step-Mother I Like To F*ck).

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6. Nina – BULWORTH (1998)

Sen. Jay Bulworth (Warren Beatty) is just another white politician with no rhythm until he meets Nina and starts to get his groove on. Halle does a pretty good job here as a hip-hop interpreter and Lisa Bonet impersonator. Nice belly button tat too.

7. Josie Potenza – THE RICH MAN’S WIFE (1996)

When Josie realizes she’s nothing more than a trophy wife for an asshole, it’s time to start looking for some younger meat via divorce. Enter the deadly prenup. Halle’s had her own prenuptial issues with cheating ex-husband, Eric Benet. Thankfully, she hasn’t killed him yet.

8. Sharon Stone – THE FLINSTONES (1994)

When I was a kid the residents of Bedrock usually didn’t have killer abs and perky cleavage. They didn’t even have belly buttons. Miss Stone has it all though and she isn’t afraid to use it to make Fred (John Goodman) as hard as a rock while embezzling all of his company’s funds.

9. Cory – THE LAST BOY SCOUT (1991)

She may have played the sassy stripper that takes drink orders but the moment she got on stage a body-double took over for all the wiggly parts. Too bad too, as we got to see some quality thong and pasties action. That and the fact that she gets gunned down two minutes later land this role the nine spot.

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10. Ororo Munroe – THE X-MEN TRILOGY

I can’t really get over the white man-wig to give this a higher spot on the list. She kind of looks like Michael Jackson’s defence lawyer. The form fitting leather pant-suit is nice but I secretly wish Bryan Singer would have turned Storm into a full-fledged slut in these films. Can’t she summon a hurricane in a string bikini just as well?

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Published by
Jim Law