Legally Blonde

A bubbly sorority girl who gets dumped by her boyfriend because he doesn’t think that she’s “serious” enough in life, enrolls in Harvard Law School in an attempt to win him back. Wow, you mean that she really is smart?!? The message: don’t judge a book by its cover, boys and girls.

The best and only way to describe this movie is with one word and that word is “cute”. Reese Witherspoon is damn cute in this film, the plot is cute, the jokes are cute, the dog is cute, the outfits are cute, some of the dialogue is cute, the ending is cute (and a little cuddly) and nothing much in this film is meant to have any more meaning than what you get out of this word, and that word again is…yup, you guessed it: cute! But is the film trying to have a deeper meaning than that? No, not really. This is obviously a remake of many rehashes of many revisited films in which the main character tries to become something that they’re not (fish out of water, anyone?) and succeeds initially, but then falls upon harder times later. Does that make the film any less interesting to watch? No, not really. Does the fact that you could telegraph the entire plotline of the film really matter in your overall, bottom line enjoyment of the picture? Well, maybe a little bit, since the film doesn’t really offer you many real surprises, but you gotta give credit to the filmmakers for one thing which takes this movie to the level of recommendation here and that is…the casting of one Reese Witherspoon in the lead role! Damn, this girl’s got it going on!!

Ryan Phillippe, if I ever meet you in the streets, allow me to shake your hand, and not necessarily because you’re a dude in your own right, but because your lovely wife is…well, lovely, talented, beautiful, charming, infectiously attractive and…an all-out movie star! Of course, she also plays this role perfectly (which is tough, especially since Alicia Silverstone portrayed the ideal goofy California girl in CLUELESS) and even managed to add another layer to the cake. And what layer might that be, you’re asking? The layer of conviction, my friends. The layer of believability, intelligence and an actual person living inside her phony-baloney exterior. I don’t think that there’s anyone out in the crowd who will not feel sorry for Reese’s character in this film, especially when she breaks down in front of her boyfriend and says, “Nothing I can do is ever going to make you love me, is there?” Or something along those lines. The look in her eyes, the sadness in her face…damn girl, c’mon over here and let me give you a hug!

Seriously though, I’m slobbering all over Reese here because she is honestly the one and only reason to see this movie. Is the plot believable or innovative? Eeeeeh, not really. Are the rest of the characters three-dimensional or interesting? Eeeeh, not really. But Reese just pops out of the screen and begs that you love her ditziness (which surprisingly, isn’t all that ditzy…she’s actually very smart but just likes “acting” ditzy!) and for that, I would recommend that you see this movie, especially if you’re looking for a confidence boost yourself (just set your mind to something, and you can do it!). By the way, I’d also like to officially nominate this picture as the one with the happiest ending of the year (as if you didn’t expect it). So if you’re not into sugar, it goes without saying that you should just skip this sachran-coated fluff-piece altogether.

PS: Can Ryan Phillippe sue me for harassing his wife from my review alone? Nah, he couldn’t, could he? Dang, I better check with my lawyers…

PSS: If there’s even one review of this film out there that doesn’t make mention of the film CLUELESS, I will personally…well, I won’t do shit, but needless to say, it’s undoubtedly gonna get compared by everyone!

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian