Legally Blonde 2

Elle Woods, the perky blonde with the cute Chihuahua, is back and this time she’s going to Washington to fight for pets’ rights. As per her first big battle against “the man”, Elle is dissuaded and insulted by those around her, but she keeps on fighting and believing in herself (insert ROCKY theme here). The rest of the “popular” characters from the first installment also return and attempt to make funny for the audience.

Is it me or do you really need more than just an adorable lead with an adorable dog to carry an entire movie these days? How about an actual plot instead of a geographically relocated rehash of the same “fish out of water” scrap from the original film? How about some inspired humor instead of the same ol’ shots of the dog looking “cute” and Elle acting “adorable”? (although I will admit that both the dog and Elle were respectively “cute” and “adorable”) How about a semblance of believability in a plot so ridiculously over-the-top that you’d think it was a sketch on “Saturday Night Live” stretched over a regurgitated 90 minutes? Unfortunately for us, not much of that is to be found in this sequel, which relies solely on the charm and likeability factor of the perky Reese Witherspoon, whom I’ve personally always loved from afar (and in some pretty damn creepy “fan” letters), but who I am starting to slowly doubt as a more “serious actress” (will she ever take on a challenging role again?) C’mon girl…tell the truth…did the screenplay of this cinematic fart convince you to sign on the line that was dotted or did the six zeroes behind the number 15 have anything to do with it? Natch. But before I sound like a total geezer who doesn’t appreciate a little mindless goofiness in his summer comedies, allow me to say that if you’re really just looking for something harmless, something that doesn’t have much basis in reality, something that rarely makes you guffaw out loud (although granted, one specific “spa” scene with the dogs was quite hilarious) but is colorful, pretty and peppy…I guess this repeat might do it for you (my lady friend loved the snot out of it!)

For me, it was all pretty “cute” the first time around, but not so much here. And talk about a fast-moving flick! I almost got whiplash in the amount of time it took Elle to get to Washington, although once there, the bloated politics of it all just didn’t click with the film’s facetiousness. Its final 15 minutes were particularly “out there” with cheerleaders dancing through the halls of the Senate, U.S. representatives styling their hair ‘a la Elle’ and the whole thing obviously catering to the July 4th weekend crowds as talk of America, liberty, justice and all that jazz is forced down your throat as everyone and their uncle salutes the wonder that is the superficial blondie with an apparent brain and heart (although you never once really see her working hard…nice message to the kids) Okay, okay…so it’s not all supposed to be taken seriously, but I guess it just didn’t work for me. The whole animal rights agenda is set up on a believable level, but the rest of the stuff just goes overboard and the two simply never synergize (wow, cool word). I giggled once or twice during my entire screening, felt kinda nauseous near the end and started wondering if was ever going to see anything original come out of Hollywood ever again! Thankfully for us, this film puts us past the halfway point of sequelitis this summer (LB2 is the 7th of the 12 sequels set for release this season). Bottom line? A carbon copy of the first film with a lamer plot that’s supposed to mean something, weak humor, redundant “outsider” jokes, boring secondary characters and an utterly contrived and predictable ending. If you’re willing to invest your hard-earned bucks to watch a chick and her dog act “cute” for an hour and a half…enjoy. I’ll take the zero. PS: Am I the only one who’s Luke Wilson’ed out?

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian