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The only time I would usually use a title like that is if I stumbled upon a video of Mary Elizabeth Winstead caressing her naked body to Mos Def (sue me, I like Mos Def). But this time I just couldn’t come up with a suitable title, not in that little space we have in the sidebar. John Stevenson (KUNG FU PANDA) will direct an adaptation of THE MINOTAUR TAKES A CIGARETTE BREAK.

Mike Jones scripted the adaptation of Steven Sherrill’s 2000 novel about the mythological creature — half-man, half-bull — who survived Theseus’ attack in the labyrinth and walks among us today. He’s a short-order cook in a Midwestern diner not far from his trailer-park home who falls for a waitress named Kelly.

I don’t know about you but that sounds awesome to me. Just awesome. And hey, if someone out there wants to make that video of Mary Elizabeth Winstead we talked about, you have my blessing to go ahead and do that too!