Jurassic Park 3

A bunch of people land on an island full of dinosaurs in search of a lost boy. The dinosaurs do not appreciate their visit and mayhem ensues.

If you’re looking for a tight script, interesting three-dimensional characters and something new with this movie, you will be disappointed. If you’re looking for some cool action scenes featuring dinos chasing and chewing into people, some tense moments, a B-movie feel and some levity by the way of William H. Macy, you might enjoy the “summer” aspect of this popcorn flick. This film doesn’t come close to its previous incarnations in terms of story, laughs and interesting characters, but it does provide for some loud, good times every 10 or 15 minutes (think slasher but with dinosaurs!). The movie is also very short, so you aren’t really all that bored between the action sequences. Of course, if you’re already sick of seeing dinosaurs crunch into people, and don’t really find “mindless” action summer movies all that entertaining, I would personally suggest that you never see this movie and live a fuller life. For those who do intend on seeing the film, be prepared for some uninteresting characters, yet another “boy genius”-type kid and Sam Neill weighing the whole thing down with his uber-serious moments, cliched dialogue and idiotic moments of talking to himself (read: explaining the plot to the audience-“I think they’re talking to each other”-uuuhhm and who are you talking to, Sam?).

You’re also not gonna give half a shit about the bogus mom/dad/son reunion that they decided to slap into this chomp-fest and will certainly roll your eyes after you see how one cellular phone could survive being thrown off a plane, eaten by a dinosaur, digested by the same, crapped out, searched and found by certain humans, rained upon and then used to make a long-distance call. What on God’s name were the screenwriters and director thinking there?!? But moronities aside, this movie is really all about action and dinosaurs, and if that’s all you’re looking for, you’ll likely be somewhat amused by it all. Either way, the film barely lasts an hour and a half, so it won’t be like you’re investing too much of your time into it (is that an endorsement or what?!?). I’m also not sure why they even brought Laura Dern’s character back for one scene and I personally would have liked to have seen more killings and more hardcore dino-stuff, but alas, maybe the next time around. Overall, the film succeeds in providing for some thrills, some chills, and entertaining moments here and there but fails in providing us with a plot that maintains interest, characters who we should care about and much originality (other than those crazy flying thingamajigs). See it for cheap fun, otherwise…move on!

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian