Will There Ever Be Another VS. Movie?
Perhaps I should have titled this column “SHOULD There Ever Be Another VS. Movie?”. There’s a lot of behind-the-scenes bullshit that needs to fall in line for any of these films to exist, not to mention the want and/or need of such events from the film community. The most recent two (FREDDY VS. JASON and AVP) were recurring wet-dreams among fanboys across the world for years. However, when both were finally officially announced, there was this frantic rush to get them made and it ended up costing the films and fans alike. Should they try it all over? I don’t know yet, that’s why we’re here.
Do you think it’s a coincidence that all four of these iconic characters will have been rebooted in solo efforts over the next few years? It’s almost as if these VS. movies were last chance Hail Marys for the franchises to see if they still mattered. Ironically, it ended up being the last straw for all of them before the makeover team got their hands on them. Grab slate – wipe it clean. Jason was bigger and darker. Freddy looks to be uglier and darker. The Predators seem deadlier and darker. And the Aliens will probably be something…… and darker. The VS. movies made everybody wake the fuck up and get serious, and I’m thinking that’s a good thing.
So is there any chance for this new, darker generation of duos getting together? I highly doubt it. Which leaves us to look elsewhere for possible match-ups. Maybe Chucky wants a run at the Gremlins, or Ash will get to cross chainsaws with Leatherface. Pumpkinhead vs. Pinhead? Critters vs. Ghoulies? C.H.U.D vs. The Crawlers (from THE DESCENT)? They’re all pipe-dreams in the eyes of the studios that own them. With enough demand though, anything can happen.
But that’s the thing, there is no demand any more. The two biggest crossover genre films of all time promised greatness and left shittiness. It’s a taste that doesn’t sit well with the very fans that were salivating for the chance. I’ve read fan fiction online that blows both the aforementioned films away. Maybe that’s where it belongs, in our heads, where it’s impossible for us to disappoint.
Maybe it’s the booze talking but I believe the VS. film is dead. Even the fuzzy warmth I get in the pit of my stomach when I imagine somebody remaking KING KONG vs. GODZILLA dies down when I think of how much potential there is to fuck it up. That’s what our approach to these things has come to, people – no matter how cool something sounds, there’s always a chance somebody will destroy it. Once I get that line of thinking out of my head I’ll write another column. And elephants will fly out of my asshole.