INT: David Spade

Brace
yourselves. We may be in the midst of a David Spade renaissance. The snarky
“Saturday Night Live” alum was written off by some after the
demise of his sitcom (“Just Shoot Me”) and string of disappointing movie
projects (JOE DIRT, DICKIE ROBERTS: FORMER CHILD STAR, etc…), but Comedy
Central liked his “Showbiz Show” (patterned after his “Hollywood
Minute” bits on SNL) enough to pick it up for a second season, and he’s
got a new film, THE
BENCHWARMERS,
opening in theatres this week. The film also features Rob Schneider and Jon
Heder – how could it go wrong? I’m certainly not betting against it.

A few
weeks ago, Spade was in

Tempe
,
Arizona

, to talk about his experience making THE BENCHWARMERS.
Check it out.

David
Spade

Did
you have input into your character’s distinctive hairdo?

I did.
I’d just done Saturday Night Live right before we shot this and I was
trying to get ideas, cause there’s only so much I can do with my hair.
It’s either shorter or longer. It can’t do much. I was going to dye it
and I just thought, I saw a bowl-cut wig on Saturday Night Live and I
thought, “Ooh, juicy. I like that one.” It looked so dumb. So we tried
to recreate that. Then I walked out of the trailer, I saw Rob, I saw Adam
Sandler and I think Dynamite was there too. I was like, “Hey look.” And
they were like [laughing]. And so I’m like, “Okay. Well, it’s
funny.”

And
the half moustache?

Oh, my
little porn one? I just thought like ‘70s porn, what does it look like? I
see these guys with this little…they shave the top part. Actually, Sean
Penn does it too.

What
made you think ‘70s porn moustache was just the right look for a kids
movie?

Something
for the parents I guess. Because they’re gonna…they can laugh at that
during the fart scenes.

The
kids will have to learn about John Holmes eventually.

Yeah.
It’s in schools now. It’s mandatory. I just thought, and
there’s one part where I wear these ‘70s shades when I’m at the
Batmobile and I walk out. I forgot to take them off, so I had them on in the
scene because halfway through they were like, “Wait, did you have those
on?” Yes. It’s like you get the Tom Cruise thing where it’s so bright,
he’s always got one eye closed like that because there are so many fucking
lights in your eyes. So he’s turned into this guy and I turned into
“accidentally wears shades guy.” So anyway, I wore those and I looked
even funnier like ‘70s because I had these big ‘70s like Aviators. So
anyway, that’s funny. Come on, Joe Dirt had a funny wig, let’s go.
It’s wigs. You need tricks.

You
said you were you teasing Jon Heder a lot, like as new guy initiation?

Well,
we needed him. It was really like Sandler and Nick Swartzen and those guys
that wrote it. I think Ritchie, they thought of for me and then they
didn’t know the other guys, who they would be. So we were thinking of
people and then once Rob got on, Clark was the last one we didn’t have.
And we were all going, “Who?” and then I saw Napoleon Dynamite. I only
saw half of it and I called Adam, and I go, “Dude, we’ve got to get this
guy. He’s funny.” And kids like him and I think that’s a good mix of
Rob and I, because we used to work together, and then maybe him because
he’s new and people like him. I don’t know.
It’s just you want a good mix and I thought that was a funny mix if
you do it. And he was into it. He was excited. Adam called him and he was
cool about it.

What
about Jon Lovitz?

Lovitz
was a mistake, yeah. That was like, “Wait, did you tell him he had it? I
thought you did. But he’s on the set. Nothing we can do now.” We wanted
Lovitz to wear a big curly wig, like early Billy Crystal from Soap. He
didn’t want to wear a wig. And Rob goes, “Put your vanity aside.”
That’s what he told me too: “Put your ego aside.” I go, “Where’s
your wig, smart ass?” “My guy doesn’t wear one.”

How
much input did you have on the script?

Well,
with those guys it’s great because it’s always going to be kind of close
because they know me and they know me in real life so they kind of know my
little mumbly jokes they can put in and then they say…Dennis Dugan does so
many takes it’s ridiculous. So we just say, if you’re doing so many,
just make up stuff. At the end you’re just so bored you just make stuff
up. But a lot of times he’ll be like, “Pretty good, going again.” And
then you’re like, “What are we doing now?” “You just say stuff.
Whatever. We’ve got all day.”

So the
fun stuff is like…we have so many angles too. We have the catcher looking
at me, when I’m batting. So I’m just like, “Dude, ka-bang.” And then
that stuff makes me laugh because then he just goes, “Keep going.” So
I’m like, “Strike two. You know, pulled something. I used to run
track.” You can see me laughing at myself because I don’t know what to
say because there’s no lines. He’d say, “Keep going. Pretty good.
I’m loving it.” So then you’ve got an angle from the pitcher looking
at you and then you’ve got the umpire’s view. You just keep doing.

That’s
what I didn’t know about baseball movies. You have to do it from
everyone’s angle, every fielder and we have to do it this way. And then
when I’m catcher, once I got that mask on, I go like this, “Can’t
really see me, can you? My double, get in there.” I got a bad neck, I go,
“I thought I was a softball guy.” I thought the whole movie was about
softball, swear to god, for the whole time. And then a week before I went
to…they go, “You want to go to baseball camp?” I go, “To be bad?
I’m already bad, I don’t care.” So I go there, I just stand there, and
he throws one, it bounces and you catch it and you throw it back. You get to
stand and it’s easy.

Then I
get there and they bring out all this equipment. I go, “What?” “This
is baseball.” “Are you
kidding?” I go, “I don’t
want to be catcher then.” There’s this 40 lb. pure steel helmet so I’m
like this [head leans over from the weight]. And then all the equipment on
my legs and they had to jack me up. Dude, every scene?
Are you kidding? We’re
doing it in the middle of the valley in the summer. These are the real
problems I have.

What’s
it like working with the kids?

The
kids are funny because kids are just always happy. They’re in a good mood
and they know everything we did. They mostly like Napoleon Dynamite so
wherever we go, they’d be all excited that he was around. And he’s
already kind of sick of it which is the funniest part. [Imitates Jon Heder]
“I’ve done other stuff, you know.” I’m like, “No, you
haven’t.” “Still, I’m
gonna.”

You
have such insight into the Hollywood industry.
Does that ever close any doors for you?

As
long as I lay off Sandler, I’m okay. I wind up only working for him I
think. Joe Dirt, Dickie Roberts, they were all for him. Basically, I am in
my own little world. I don’t do that many other movies. I kind of do with
these guys and then work…I do standup on the road. I thought I would
probably be doing another sitcom or something but I kind of got into this
Showbiz Show and I like that now.

TV
comedy is pretty risky now, too. There
are so many bad ones.

Well,
it’s so brutal. What makes it is so hard and sometimes shows like Arrested
Development – shows that you think are actually pretty good – don’t.
So it’s not an exact science, obviously. Some good shows don’t make it.
You just kind of cross your fingers and I like the kind of one I’m on
right now where you can do jokes about what’s going on in Hollywood. And
then we get to do little field bits. We’re doing more of that this year.
I’m going out in the field and doing stuff which I hate but it’s funny,
hopefully. I just don’t like to go out and deal with the real world.
It’s scary.

Would
you do something on this movie, or is that a line you won’t cross?

Every
situation is tough. We have…some people actually want to do the show. They
call and say, “I want to do something on your show,” and then we don’t
know what to do with them because we don’t do straightforward interviews
which is the easiest. “Oh yeah, you want to do it? Come on, we’ll
interview you about your movie.” But that’s kind of going against what
we do, so we have to think of just a joke or a trick.

Kid
Rock, I think we were maybe going to do an Inside the Actor’s Studio about
his sex tape. But we don’t really do sketches so it’s kind of weird,
like we’ve got to find how to do it. We were gonna morph him into James
Lipton and do a real interview, like, “Tell us about your role,” like
he’s talking to Al Pacino and then it’s Kid Rock sitting in the same
background going, “It wasn’t really a role, it was just me and this dude
getting BJs.” And the audience is going, “Yes.”

So
when people want to do the show, we’re immediately like, we get letters
like, “These five people said they wanted to do something with you. They
have a movie coming out or they saw a show” and then it’s hard to just
sit in a room and go, “This person, what’s the idea? Well, they could do
this. No, that’s not good enough.” So with this, that’s like Comedy
Central, “Well, you’re all together, why don’t you do something?”

So
yesterday, we had Andrew Daly who’s a guy who does reporting on our show,
a correspondent, he was just a junket guy and so he just talked to Rob and
Jon. He was in love with Napoleon Dynamite and he just talked about that
movie and had him sign something, he didn’t even talk to me. Then I said,
“I was in the movie too,” and he goes, “I didn’t see you, what’d
you do?” I go, “I was Ritchie.” And he goes, “Ritchie, Ritchie…”
I go, “He was one of the…you know Ritchie, dumbass.” He goes, “I
just watch (Jon) because it just makes me laugh. The second time I see
everybody else.”

So
then we did that little bit and then after I walk up to him with the camera
behind me like I don’t see him. I go, “What the f*ck was that a bit?”
He goes, “Yeah, you knew I was doing that.” I go, “I didn’t know.
That’s not funny to me. That’s about me.” I go, “Uh, I love Napoleon
Dynamite. Was that the whole joke?” He goes, “Yeah.” I go, “It’s
lame and I’m not going to put it on.”

Do
people ever respond to what you do on the show?

No,
not really badly. Some people go, “Oh, I saw it. Oh, please don’t do
us.” But I think it’s like Letterman or Chris Rock. Everyone kind of
does jokes about everyone and that’s just kind of the drill. You just hope
they don’t do it about you. But I’ve had them do it about me and I
don’t like it. I say it’s fine but I don’t like it.

How
important is it for you to continue doing standup?

I
think I’m getting worse. I’ve been doing the Mirage a lot in Vegas. I go
out there and they pay more, so it’s harder because I have to do better.
And I have to do it longer. I’m not that bad at it anymore but it’s
really hard when you’ve got too much going on. Like right now it’s
really hard because I have this and the show starts Thursday. We tape
Wednesday, the first show. So this is like a little crazy time but usually
I’ve got a lot of time off and I sneak out there and do it and I get to
work on it. It’s good to do standup. It kind of wakes you up and makes you
feel like you’re doing something and get the crowd right there. That’s
all fun. But it’s a lot of work. Like I asked Adam (Sandler) why he
doesn’t do it anymore. He would never consider it. He goes, “I would
never do it again.” It’s hard and he gets overwhelmed with probably too
high of expectations so it’s not that fun for him.

What’s
next for you?

Just
doing the show for a while and then might do another Joe Dirt movie at the
end of the summer. That’s about it. The show is really starting and
that’s what I have to do, like my day-to-day job. This movie I love and we
did it last summer so it’s been kind of…I haven’t had to deal with it
for a while but then when it came on, I saw a screening, I was excited.

Were
there lots of questions unanswered by the first Joe Dirt?

Yes,
there were. We’re actually going right to 3.

How
long did it take to throw together the script?

We
wrote it. We wrote it because Sandler thinks it’s funny. You hear these
things. I go on the road and I hear more about that than anything. That’s
how you get feedback. There are some movies that just…not everyone’s
asking about Lost and Found. So when I go out, you hear about the certain
movies a lot and then you get weird facts like it sold the most DVDs at Sony
a year ago from all their movies at Walmart. So you go, does that matter?
Yeah. So then I asked the DVD guy, “What does that mean?” And he goes,
“Well, it came out and sold a lot the first month and then it never
dropped. It just sells the same for the year.” So that makes everyone
think and go, “Well, someone…” But
maybe they just don’t believe it the first time so you’ve got to get
them into theaters. That’s the tough part, because they seem to do well on
video which is a big market but you want them to do well in the theater
because that’s all people kind of know.

What
about Dickie Roberts?

Dickie,
there’s really nowhere to go with it.
But I love it. Now I hear kids know it now.
But there’s only so many sequels I can do in the summer. I like the
new Joe Dirt. We read it –
it’s funny and Adam likes it. If it falls into place, it will and it’ll
be fun to do. Electric Dirtaloo.

Does
it hurt when you don’t get good feedback on a movie like Lost and Found?

Well,
Lost and Found I went in kind of blind, not knowing anything.
I just did Saturday Night Live and I had an idea for a movie with my
buddy. I thought the title was a little soft.
We used a foreign actress. There are so many things. And the movie
was not that hilarious, but there’s a lot of things we could’ve done to
fix it. I didn’t listen to them. I kind of did my own thing. And it was
for what? $8 million. I’m sure someone did fine with it but to me, you
want it to be a bigger deal when you come out.

So I
had to stop for two years and think and figure out, and whatever. Did Just
Shoot Me and you just try to do whatever. Like Capital One commercials.
They turn out funny, you never know?
You do your best. I
didn’t know they’re going to be playing like a machine gun out there. So
you go, “Well, I’m glad that one’s kind of funny.” Then I requested
that guy again. I go, “Always use him if I’m in it because he’s
funny.” So again, safety in numbers, like this movie. You get someone
funny with you, it helps.

Questions?
Comments? Manifestos? Send them to me at [email protected].