Review: Donkey Punch

Last Updated on July 26, 2021

NOTE: Donkey Punch will be available on HDNet Ultra VOD and in theaters on 1/23.

PLOT: Three lovely ladies and four handsome blokes take a yacht out to sea off a gorgeous Spanish island with their minds set on booze, drugs, and gettin’ frisky. The good times roll until someone loses their life after a particularly nasty sex romp, and before you know it everyone’s pointing fingers – and guns, and knives, and flares – at each other as guilt, fear, and insanity turn this party into a literal battle of the sexes. (No donkeys were harmed during the making of this motion picture.)

REVIEW: Donkey Punch. V. Sexual act wherein the male punches his partner in the back of the head during anal or vaginal sex prior to orgasm, to provoke a shock causing the vaginal or anal muscles to contract around the male’s penis.

That’s from Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary… Or maybe Urban Dictionary. Either way, it’s important to know that this lurid – not to mention rude – act is the catalyst for a series of progressively violent events that occur among a group of pretty Brits on the high seas of Spain in Olly Blackburn’s kinky thriller DONKEY PUNCH. Despite the goofy title, which may cause the more immature of us to giggle (while others ponder if it’s some sort of anti-mule propaganda), DONKEY PUNCH is a rather straight-forward suspenser in the vein of DEAD CALM, made with a you-are-there aesthetic that heightens the drama and believability (at least initially) of the increasingly intense situation.

Kim, Lisa, and Tammi are three young ladies from Leeds in their first day of vacation in sunny Spain. Quickly we know the score on this trio – Lisa and Kim are just-wanna-party girls eager to cheer up the slightly prudish Tammi, who is nursing a wounded heart after a bad break-up. Rather quickly they meet up with a trio of likable, if slightly naughty, lads who crew on a yacht while the owner’s away. Despite Tammi’s hesitation, as well as the emergence of a straight-laced and equally apprehensive – fourth crewman who just wants the boat to stay put, the whole group is soon sailing out to see for sex-and-drugs party so hardcore that they may not even survive it… You’d figure a little old donkey punch isn’t going to hurt every now and then, but it proves to be deadly here, when one of the young men foolishly delivers the brutal blow upon one of the unsuspecting lasses, although even her consent probably wouldn’t have prevented her neck from being snapped. Panic and hasty thinking take over, and the fellas, much to the horror of the girl’s shocked friends, get the bright idea to toss the body overboard. No surprise, it only goes further downhill from there…

Director Blackburn’s unpretentious shooting style combines with convincingly free-spirited characters to give the movie’s early scenes a distinct authenticity, drawing us in and adding significant weight and consequence to the more outlandish events later in the flick. He’s also aided by a very capable cast, stand-outs being Nichola Burley as the gentle yet strong-willed Tammi, and Julien Morris as the initially soft-spoken Josh, whose heart grows darker as the situation gets truly out of hand. The screenplay (written by Blackburn and David Bloom) evolves plausibly for the most part, usually providing scenarios that enable the audience (those who are “with” the movie, anyway) to ask themselves “What would I do if I had to deal with this madness?” Of course, there’s only so much that can go on before everyone simply loses their minds; eventually people are getting burned alive and hacked up with motor-boat propellors. While it never really becomes a full-on “horror movie”, DONKEY PUNCH’s third act will please gore-hounds who have been wondering impatiently if they’d ever get to see the red stuff.

Obviously, DONKEY PUNCH isn’t for the prudes, the faint-of-heart, the more conservative moviegoers… Since I doubt there’s anyone fitting any of those descriptions hanging ’round these parts, I’ll go out on a strong limb and say this donkey is worth a ride. (Not that kind of ride, you sicko.)

7.5/10