Halloween picks #2

Last Updated on July 27, 2021

THIS PROPERTY IS CONDEMNED!
(A.K.A. Hell Has A “For Sale” Sign!)

Indeed, I’ve chosen a double-feature of films I love that conveniently have a common focus: real-estate. Yes, believe it or not, these movies are set in and around a key piece of property that all involved parties are determined to keep – or take away – by any means necessary… Of course, most of the folks in these tragic tales don’t realize that their greed and obsession will ultimately be their downfall – usually in brutal bloody fashion. It’s an Open House for horror fans!

TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE

(A.K.A. Bay of Blood, Chain Reaction, Bloodbath Bay of Death)

Aside from having one of the greatest titles ever, TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE is probably my favorite Italian horror film of all time, directed by the immortal Mario Bava with joy and colorful style. The story is almost Shakespearean: the scene is a desirable piece of land by a beautiful bay. This property is owned by wealthy old lady who refuses to sell it to a greedy developer. She’s killed off in the first few minutes of the film but much to our shock, so is her murderer a few seconds later! Soon after this unconventional opening, the deceased woman’s relatives descend upon the property, determined to make it their own, but run into some unsavory neighbors and other assorted characters, and so begins a complicated murder party where all involved are alternately hunters and hunted. Throw in some horny kids unlucky enough to happen upon the scenario, and you get something that’s resembles a slasher flick written by Agatha Christie: part murder mystery, part hack-and-slash bloodbath.

The real pleasure of TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE is how extreme it is. Not necessarily in terms of gore (although there is certainly ample amounts of the red stuff), but in the story department. Bava and his writers have concocted a rogue’s gallery of shady protagonists who will do anything to get what they want. Almost none of them are sympathetic; on the contrary they’re delightfully sinister and without any moral code, so you delight in their devious plotting almost as much as you take pleasure in their gruesome fates. Each plot twist is wackier than the last, and the final scene of the film is so nutty that you’re simply left with a silly, dazed smile on your face. It’s a must not only for mystery lovers, but for FRIDAY THE 13th fanatics, who will no doubt be taken aback by just how much the series was “inspired by” this nasty little nugget.

The trippy trailer for TWITCH OF THE DEATH NERVE!

SPIDER BABY

(A.K.A. the Maddest Story Ever Told, Attack of the Liver Eaters)

The real estate in this underappreciated gem is a spooky old house belonging to the Merrye Family, who make the Firefly’s in Rob Zombie’s flicks look like the Brady Bunch. Elizabeth, Virginia, and Ralph are siblings who have the intellects of children and the murderous instincts of, well, spiders, as they’re prone to attack unsuspecting victims (be they human or cat!). They’re looked after by Bruno (Lon Chaney giving a great performance), the butler who has been their loyal guardian (and exasperated defender) for years. Without notice, a few long-lost relatives show up with their lawyer to survey and possibly take over the house which shelters them from the world. Naturally, it doesn’t take long for this nice little family reunion to wander into weird, perverse, and violent territory… And that’s before we even meet the folks locked up in the basement…

This is a very, very dark comedy and fans of the absurd will have a ball with the lovably creepy Merrye clan. Truth be told, every character in this film is a wonderfully quirky kook, from the clueless cousin Peter to the slimy lawyer, Mr. Schlocker. The acting is spot-on: Beverly Washburn and Jill Banner are especially convincing as the murderous – and adorable – sisters, and Chaney is just perfect as the stressed-out Bruno, who is torn between his obligation to the children that depend on him, and the knowledge that this loony group belongs locked up forever.

The trailer for SPIDER BABY!

Watch these flicks with someone you love. As long as you trust they’re not going to kill you for your possessions… 😉

HAPPY HALLOWEEN MY FRIENDS!