Last Updated on August 3, 2021
I’ve never seen such a show of animosity towards both films that was on display with our last Face-Off. I suppose in terms of strong horror, Devil was too light and Quarantine was guilty of plagiarism. Perhaps it makes sense that the Face-Off ended in a tie? But we move on, regardless.
For today’s battle, we are taking a cue from the psycho-that-gets-welcomed-into-the-home scary storyline featured in the upcoming flick THE GUEST. Our contenders are two intense flicks from the past with some seriously f*cked up pyschos at the helm. So, lock your doors, check your kids, and enter your home alarm security code because it’s time for THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE Vs. UNLAWFUL ENTRY!
Family
The Bartel family is picture perfect. Michael is a caring husband and loving father (and can even resist the beyond tempting allure of Rebecca De Mornay in a nightgown propositioning him). Claire is a sweet and strong matriarch who puts her family above all else. They have an incredibly sweet little daughter played by (get ready to be shocked) Madeline Zima! If you don’t know who she is nowadays, then you don’t frequent our sites enough.
The Carrs are another fine, upstanding family. Michael is a successful nightclub developer whose hard work has afforded a fancy house in an upscale section of L.A. However, he feels a tad inadequate after failing to keep a burglar from attacking his wife. Karen is a kind grade school teacher who is great with kids and supports her husband. However, she acts a tad too nice to the psycho at the beginning.
Psycho
Petyton Reed is definitely one nightmare of a nanny. Hotness aside, she is seriously pissed off and willing to go to insane lengths in order to exact vengeance upon the Bartels. Violence aside, her psychotic tendencies reach towards the depths of breast feeding the Bartels’ newborn and framing a mentally challenged man for pedophilia.
The best thing that could happen to a crazy like Detective Pete Davis was for him to be played by Ray Liotta. The man knows how to be nuts. Dude takes obsession to a new level by breaking into the Carrs’ bedroom while they’re having sex. He also brings police brutality to new heights while either beating the shit out of a perp or offing his own f*cking partner!
Best Kill
Poor Julianne Moore. She’s the only one who knows Peyton is up to no good, but can’t get anyone to believe her. She also ends up walking in on a deviously conceived trap meant for Annabella Sciorra. And how original and cool is a freaking death by greenhouse?! When those all-glass roof windows slam shut, they slam hard, raining down a huge storm of sharp shards. Julianne didn’t stand a chance.
Det. Davis commits the ultimate sin in terms of policemen. After his partner threatens to expose him for the crazy he is, he offs him in cold blood during a bust. His partner never sees it coming and Davis shoots without hesitation. It shows how psycho this guy really is.
Reason to Stalk
Peyton has definitely been put through the ringer and basically pushed to insanity. First, her asshole doctor husband loses his job for inappropriately groping Mrs. Bartel. Then the dick commits suicide. This causes a pregnant Peyton to go into shock. She ends up losing her baby as well as the ability to have kids in the future and thus, takes revenge on the family that made her lose hers.
Like I said, Madeline Stowe was an amazing hottie of the early 90’s (she’s still actually quite good-looking). And she is, honestly, the reason Det. Davis starts his insane obsessing. Although it is alluded that Davis has exhibited strange behavior in the past, we never know what initially caused him to crack. So, sexy Ms. Stowe is as good a reason as any.
Finale
Peyton’s evil intentions are finally fully revealed to the Bartels. She knocks out Michael and chases Claire and her daughter all through the house. They end up in the attic and Peyton gains the upper hand. She’s about to beat Claire to death with a fireplace poker when suddenly she is grabbed by Mr. Ernie Hudson’s lovable character, Solomon. Claire promptly shoves Peyton out a window and down onto the new fence that Solomon just put up. Bye bye, nanny.
Thinking he’s got Michael locked up in jail, Det. Davis enters the Carrs’ home and tries to play house with Karen. Fortunately, Michael gets out and rushes home just in time to duke it out with Davis. They beat the shit out of each other, but fortunately Karen lends a hand by delivering a crushing blow with a solid decorative pyramid. This allows Michael to shoot Det. Davis with his own gun. Bye bye, cop.
The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
Damn! Unlawful Entry certainly got Rocked! I always thought that these two films were pretty evenly matched, but the categories above tell a totally different story. Hopefully Mr. Liotta doesn’t find out about this because I’d much rather have Ms. De Mornay show up unexpectedly in my bedroom than him! Anyways, I gotta hear what you think about these two stalker flicks so fire them bullets below! And feel free to send any future Face-Off ideas to me at [email protected].
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