Face-Off: The Faculty Vs. Disturbing Behavior

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

Well, with our last Face-Off, it seems that the majority agreed that Poltergeist out-spooks The Ring, however many claimed that Naomi Watts should have bested JoBeth Williams in the MILF category. The Arrow and I still stand by out youthful horny 80’s roots.

This month, with all the kiddies heading back to the greatest of horrors (school), we figured that today’s Face-Off should focus on a couple of scary efforts centered in or around the educational system. So, let the school bell ring as THE FACULTY takes on DISTURBING BEHAVIOR!

Best Death

You guys remember when Jon Stewart was an actor and not the Daily Show host? Well, he was and he had one helluva death scene in THE FACULTY! As soon as his science teacher becomes “infected” by the alien’s bite, he’s ready to begin turning his students. Too bad for him that Josh Hartnett was able to pull loose the blade end of the large paper cutter and lop off a couple of his fingers. Then, Josh whips out one of his scat-loaded injection pens and nails Mr. Stewart right in the eye. At first, Jon seems to feel no pain, however, he quickly learns that his new alien race is highly allergic to Hartnett’s scat. He drops to the floor as his face becomes an oozing mess.

There’s no death more disheartening than the death of a woman in the process of oral. Sadly, that is the fate that overcomes Mary Jo at the beginning of DISTURBING BEHAVIOR. For Andy to snap his girl’s neck right when she starts going to town “downtown”, you know the title of this movie is totally appropriate. How could any man do this?! First, you end what is most definitely a very pleasurable experience, but second, what if she bites down when the neck snap occurs?! The scene cums off as a total shocker and a great start to the flick.

Best Student

Go Elijah! Who would have thought that little Frodo could become the hero of an alien invasion flick? Well, even though he is pretty geeky in THE FACULTY, he’s still smart enough to find a way to become a part of the only group of students not infected as well as take down the main alien baddie in the end. He even scores Jordana Brewster to become his main squeeze after all his heroics. A+!

It’s strange that Nick Stahl never became a huge success in the movie biz. He started out with a super performance as a youngster in THE MAN WITHOUT A FACE and even became the new John Connor in T3. Still, not many peeps out there know his name. Anyways, he gave another cool performance in BEHAVIOR as the outcast student who’s smarter than people think and is well aware that something strange is going on at his school.

Best Teacher

Oh, Famke Janssen, we should all be so lucky to have you as a teacher. I love how she’s all mousy and reticent at first, especially when Josh Hartnett makes her feel uncomfortable with his mock advances. Then, when she becomes infected and does a completely sexy 180, it’s like every male student’s ultimate fantasy! Sure, she may have a bunch of tiny alien worms crawling around inside of her, but she’s still so damn hot! Plus, if she gets decapitated, she can just put her head back on! Gives new meaning to the phrase “giving head”.

Okay, so William Sadler may not exactly be a teacher in DISTURBING (he’s the janitor), but he gives the “good” students more important tutelage than any other instructors at the school. Plus, his character just absolutely rocks. He’s pretending to be this dumb, dirty floor-scrubber, yet he’s really a smart person who just wanted to disappear into a town. The way he helps out in the movie and the manner with which Sadler delivers all his lines is just dynamite and deserves mentioning.

Best Psycho

I just love Robert Patrick in this flick. He is the perfect embodiment of an over-the-top, tough guy, midwest football coach. From his opening introduction where he’s stalking the principal to his great expressions of glee as his infected players are leveling their opponents on the football field, he’s just one crazy son of a bitch. There are times when you don’t even think or care that he’s infected. You just want to see what crazy act he does next.

One of the greatest lines in this movie happens when the completely whacked out “Chug” asks Katie Holmes out and she says no: “WHY NOT?!” he shouts in her face. Oh, I just love this insane kid. Clearly, his behavior is one of the most disturbing in the flick. The primal attack he unleashes on a couple of his fellow classmates at the grocery store is just hilarious and the glitchy ticks he emits when the buzzing rat trap goes off is comedic gold.

Best Blonde

Laura Harris’s “Louise” is a sweet, southern belle new girl at school. Her accent and pure/smooth facial features immediately make her a knockout. Her initial kindness makes her all the more sexy when it is revealed that she is the queen bee baddie alien the whole time. And, we are treated to the lovely sight of her in the buff emerging from the school’s pool once it’s clear who she really is, thus, leaving away any reservations about her showing off her “fake” skin.

It’s a little eerie/hot how similar Crystal Cass looks like Laura Harris. Nonetheless, she exudes even more smokey hotness as “Lorna” the top hottie of the clique of disturbed students. The scene where she tries to get hot with James Marsden amidst her evil implant’s dysfunctioning chip of right/wrong, it’s a supremely sexy display of seduction. I dare you not to give in to her.

Story

This was written by the guy who revitalized the horror genre long ago, Kevin Willamson, so you get lots of self-referential dialogue as well as laughs. The commentary on high school social classes is there too, but kind of obvious. The idea of kids’ teachers becoming evil zombie-like replicas is definitely fun, but it is also basically a direct copy of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. NothIng new.

Here is one new and innovative commentary on the high school social class system. We get interesting characters, smart dialogue, and an actual original idea. This story has thrills, chills, interesting notions of science, and some nicely unexpected laughs. It’s a complete package, in terms of a movie-going experience.

DISTURBING BEHAVIOR

Sorry, Mr. Robert Rodriguez, but it would appear that DISTURBING BEHAVIOR kicked in a major comeback and pulled off the big W. Frankly, I’m glad. That flick is an underrated gem that deserves some more love. But did YOU love the outcome? Are you gonna let me know? I’m talkin’ bullets, baby, so start spittin’ them below! And feel free to send any future Face-Off ideas to me at [email protected].