Guru getting slammed

Things aren’t going so well for Mike Myers and THE LOVE GURU. His latest comedy (and his first live-action role since 2003’s THE CAT IN THE HAT) is getting a critical beat down already attaining one of the worst Tomatometer ratings of the year at Rotten Tomatoes (they should thank their lucky stars for MEET THE SPARTANS). It’s not just that critics aren’t liking the movie. No, they’re taking perverse glee in describing how much they don’t like it. I scoured the web and came up with some of my favorite quotes from critics who try and describe just how bad THE LOVE GURU is (to be fair, our own JimmyO sort of didn’t hate it):

A.O. Scott, The New York Times – To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, THE LOVE GURU is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.

Harry Knowles, Ain’t It Cool News – With this film, Myers puts a shotgun in the mouth of comedy and kills it…THE LOVE GURU is one of the most inept pathetic terrifyingly awful experiences I’ve ever suffered through.

Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times – This film could have been written on toilet walls by callow adolescents…Even [Myers’] fellow actors seem to realize no one is laughing. That’s impossible, because they can’t hear the audience, but it looks uncannily like they can, and don’t.

Dana Stevens, Slate – “There are good movies. There are bad movies. There are movies so bad they’re good (though, strangely, not the reverse). And once in a while there is a movie so bad that it takes you to a place beyond good and evil and abandons you there, shivering and alone…It’s difficult to get across just how unfunny the jokes in THE LOVE GURU are.”

Kyle Smith, The New York Post – If this movie were a president, it would be Tedious Roosevelt.

Joe Neuimaier, The New York Daily News – Let’s not pussyfoot around: THE LOVE GURU is an atrocious, idiotic 88 minutes of anti-entertainment. To borrow word-shtick from the guru Pitka, it’s AWFUL as in, “Anyone Watching Feels, Um, Loser-ish.”

Brian Lowry, Variety – THE LOVE GURU is so relentlessly juvenile as to merit a new twist on the PG-13 rating — one that strongly cautions not only those under 13 but anyone much above it, too.

Stephanie Zacharek, Salon.com – THE LOVE GURU is offensive to pretty much anyone with a brain.

Ken Fox, TV Guide – Adam Sandler can breathe a sigh of relief: Thanks to this crude, bafflingly unfunny comedy from fellow SNL alum Mike Myers, Sandler can rest assured that his YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN won’t go down as the worst movie of 2008.