Guess who?! Woody Woodpecker being turned into a feature film

Along with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, one of my absolute favorite coked-out cartoon characters growing up was Woody Woodpecker. But like with most fun things from our childhood, it seems Hollywood is dead set on f*cking it up.

According to THR’s Heat Vision, Illumination Entertainment, the Universal-based animation house responsible for DESPICABLE ME and next year’s DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX, is developing a feature film around the screwball bird originally created by Ben Hardaway, Walter Lantz, and Alex Lovy, and voiced initially by the incomparable Mel Blanc.

Okay, DESPICABLE ME was good and THE LORAX seems like it might do Dr. Seuss justice (though I’m assuming this means Woody’s going to be CG-animated, which personally disinterests me). But then they decide to toy with my emotions, saying that BLADES OF GLORY scribes John Altschuler and Dave Krinsky are in talks to write the project, seeking “to create a story that modernizes the character, hopefully launching a franchise in the process.” Modernize! Franchise! Oy vey.

Anywho, check out some Woody insanity below. It’s awesome, and part of the deranged brilliance that you know will never translate into a modern day film for kids: