GI Joe Resolute (Arrow Recommends)

Last Updated on August 2, 2021

Arrow Recommends is a column that has my sorry ass advise older movies to your royal asses. I will be flexible in terms of genres i.e. I will cover whatever the bleep I want. For now, it will be the way to keep my voice on the site.

PLOT: Badass Cobra Commander and his army of goons grab the world by the balls again and its up to the GI JOE team to stomp the snakes into the ground.

"It suited me once to appear weak and cowardly, because it motivated you people to think. But today is a new day. There will be no room to take over my command. There will be no mistakes. There will be none of your crap. NONE OF IT!" – Cobra Commander

LOWDOWN: "This isn't the GI JOE I grew up with!" I actually said that out loud to my bud while re-watching the 2009 GI JOE RESOLUTE (GET THE DIRT CHEAP DVD HERE) recently and I meant it in a VERY good way. Written by Warren Ellis and directed by Joaquim Dos Santos, GI JOE RESOLUTE is an 11 episode animated series that debuted on the web and then aired on cable (Adult Swim) in April of 2009. And I got to say it, the violent and gritty approach to one of my fav cartoons from my childhood did the body good.

Bye, Bye lasers, too fancy for their own good vehicles (i.e. got to sell them toys) and humor aimed at the kiddies. Say hello to RESOLUTE; a film that approaches the GI JOE mythos as if it were a big budget and fairly serious action flick aimed at adults. The animation was top notch (seamless blend of cell animation and CGI), the dialogue was mature and to the point, the guns fired freaking bullets (quite the trip to hear actual gunfire in a GI JOE cartoon) and the story, although true to GI JOE roots in terms of yet another "out there" world domination ploy from Cobra Commander (one that I can't say I fully grasped – but who cares really); but way more grounded and dare I say believable than the usual GI JOE fare.

Speaking of Cobra Commander, I so dug the fresh take on the character. Cobra Commander here is insane, meaner and more competent than he's ever been. His new voice spelled PSYCHOPATH to me. Shite, I got to give props to the film for actually having Cobra Commander address that he was an imbecile in the past and that now all that was gonna change. Very sly way to evolve the character while covering one's ass as to how damn whiny and wimpy he was in the previous cartoons. Although Cobra Commander kind of went back to Old School C.C. near the end, on a whole it was an efficient revamp. Same went for the approach to SnakEyes and his ninja nemesis Storm Shadow. Their man-thing made for a compelling subplot, one that could've been lifted out of any A List martial arts flick. I dug it the most!

Action wise; well, let me tell ya when this one starts pumping, it pumps hard. The set pieces here echoed John Woo mixed in with The Matrix aesthetics. Flamboyant choreographies, hair raising stunts and a shit load of cool ass moments; I was floored when the physical get downs kicked in. Wait till you see the Storm Shadow/SnakeEyes fight, or the Duke/Scarlett versus Cobra canon fodder shoot-out. F*cking insane! Add to all that loving the return of some beloved characters, peeps getting killed or/and wounded which upped the stakes of the game, at least one surprise appearance by a beloved character that I didn't see coming and a breath neck pace that never let me come out for air and you get GI JOE the way it should have been all along!

Any complaints? Not much. I really would've have loved to have seen LADY J. in the mix. There's actually a character that looks like her in the film, but its not her. I had a crush on Lady J when I was kid (don't ask) so she was missed here. DESTRO and BARONESS were also CRIMINALLY underused. I mean these are two of the coolest GI JOE characters in my opinion and they deserved more screen time than what they got. My main peeve though is that the whole thing was just an hour long and it begged for an extra half hour. The ending was abrupt and felt somewhat rushed, so the thing didn't leave me on a fully satisfied note.

On a whole though, GI JOE fans and non-fans alike should get a spin kick to the jaw out of RESOLUTE. It's GI JOE for a mature audience with the proper tone at play and its well done on all fronts to boot. Forget the piss poor movies that just can't seem to get it – Resolute is the real deal. YO JOE!