Games-To-Flix Special 2/2

VIDEOGAMES-TO-FLIX is a JoBlo.com column showcasing reviews of videogame translations of Hollywood
films (or games soon-to-become Hollywood movies). With both industries getting
closer and closer, and videogames, in general, getting so much more popular, you
knew it was just a matter of time before we hit that stuff!

Our good friends at Destructoid.com have been keeping a running tally of upcoming games-to-flix projects still stewing in the wild. So instead of a review this week, you’ll be getting a two part examination of some of the prominent games-to-flix. DMV stands for Destructoid’s own Dick McVengeance (previous column: LINK!). Hopefully, one of these projects will live up to the promise of its source. Check out Part I.

As a warning to you all, this movie is just a pipe-dream right now. What we’re showing you is a fan made trailer that Justin Seau did for their digital video class in college. Valve, though, has been shopping around the rights to the game to some Hollywood studios.

DMV: Looking at the trailer that the fan made, it really brings out some hope for this movie, as it could be one of the few good first person shooter adaptations, right along with HALO. I’ve noticed a ton of fans compare CHILDREN OF MEN to HALF-LIFE 2, which I have sadly yet to see. The likelyhood of this being made, however, is very slim in my mind, even though it would come out extremely awesome, and most likely be a series of films.

Keen: HALF-LIFE is a guaranteed blockbuster… if it ever gets made. Deciding who would play Gordon Freeman would be incredibly hard and controversial to say the least. Who would you choose, Henry Rollins? Jamie Foxx? Clive Owen? Matt Damon?

Probability of suck: Moderately Low

The infamous game is set to be directed by Neill Blomkamp, with HALO set to be his first feature film. D.B. Weiss, one of the writers, has HALO listed as his first screenplay. He is working with Alex Garland, who wrote 28 DAYS LATER.

DMV: HALO, I feel, is actually going to be a really tricky beast to make. I can see them going the CGI route, like with the HALO 3 FMVs that we saw released a while ago, but then it loses a bit of the magic of seeing a real Master Chief. I’m actually pretty hap
py to see Alex Garland on this, because I really loved the story for 28 DAYS LATER, and I hope he can re-create that magic on HALO.

Keen: Of the films on this list, HALO looks like the most likely to happen. The cinematics for both HALO 3 and HALO WARS look outstanding and are a great start for a full length animated movie. In my eyes a fully CGI HALO is the only way to make this movie and the vibe from New Zealand certainly felt that way. However, with the failure of FINAL FANTASY: THE SPIRIT WITHIN, I can see that studios might be wary of a PG-13 (or even R) rated CGI feature film.

Probability of suck: Low

The career of Agent 47 is set to be told by Xavier Gens and Skip Woods. Gens, who is directing this film, has worked on a handful of films, mostly French, while Woods has written the 2001 film SWORDFISH. Timothy Olyphant is set to play Agent 47.

DMV: I always liked the idea of the HITMAN games, and I think this game would make a good adaptation. While I’m not knowledgeable to the plot of the games, I definitely think that it can be told in an interesting LEON-esque manner. I’m looking forward to catching the trailer for this.

Keen: Unlike a lot on this list, HITMAN has the beginnings of a cast and crew. Timothy Olyphant may not be the first name that comes to mind when thinking of HITMAN, but he’s not altogether awful. The idea of a HITMAN movie is a good one. Now it is up to execution to deliver the goods.

Probability of suck: Low

DMV: Why the hell is this even being made into a movie?

Keen: Guaranteed awful movie.

Probability of suck: Bet on it

MAX PAYNE is involved in a tale of revenge. Drugged up junkies killed his wife and child, and now he’s out to seek revenge for the people who made the drugs. Max is now a fugitive cop, running from the law, entering into dangerous territory, and fulfilling all the requirements of being a film noir.

DMV: I’m glad this game is being made into a movie. We can really use some more film noir right now.

Keen: With Universal supporting the project, MAX PAYNE should eventually make it to theaters. It appears that a script exists and is worth adapting, now they just need a star and some momentum. Perhaps the appearance of MAX PAYNE 3 will start the ball rolling… if that ever happens.

Probability of suck: Moderately Low

Snake is finally sneaking his way into theaters, with Mike De Luca as the producer of the film, and Columbia Pictures currently in the process of trying to acquire the rights for it. No director or actors have been announced yet.

DMV: Well, my hopes and dreams have finally come true; there is to be a METAL GEAR SOLID movie! Kojima himself has stated that Uwe Boll won’t be a part of this film, so I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief. I have full faith in Kojima on this project, and I have a feeling he’ll even have a good hand in all this. Hopefully, they’ll just base it on the first film, so that we can enjoy the utter mindf*ck that is METAL GEAR SOLID 2 later.

Keen: Should I be stabbed for saying I’ve never played a METAL GEAR SOLID game? Nevertheless, the character of Solid Snake is intriguing and would sell well outside of video game fans. Explaining what the hell the title means might be a hump that keeps general film fans away.

Probability of suck: Very Low, or else heads will roll.

The details on the movie are slim, with the only real announcement that John Woo is supposed to direct this film. The film was announced back in 2004, with not much new news since then.

DMV: This would be really interesting to see. I’m too used to seeing Samus as a CGI character, so I’d feel better if this were a well rendered CGI movie. Also, it might become boring for the audience watching the constant solidarity that is METROID.

Keen: Wasn’t John Woo involved with this project at one point? While John Woo was a great director many years ago, a string of AWFUL movies makes his appearance here a bad omen. I’m not sure who’d play Samus, but fanboys and girls would likely be upset no matter what.

Probability of suck: Moderately High

Once again, Lu Kang, Sonya, Jax, and Raiden must fight the forces of evil in the Mortal Kombat tournament. The director uses a false name, “mink”, for this film. High quality for sure.

DMV: Ooh! Another MORTAL KOMBAT movie! I know this is going to turn out horribly, but I enjoyed the other ones as a kid, so I can guarantee that this is something that will end up on Shi…wait, I can’t talk about that.

Keen: I never enjoyed the MORTAL KOMBAT games and I’ve no interest in seeing another movie. Making this movie is just an easy cash in on a franchise that should have been put out to pasture a decade ago. Movies like this remind stupid congressman that video games can sometimes be violent.

Probability of suck: Bet on it

Most likely set to be based on the third game, ONIMUSHA tells the story of a French police officer and a Japanese samurai who must fight against demons in each others’ worlds. The film is set to be directed by Chris Gans, the man who did SILENT HILL.

DMV: Aah, ONIMUSHA. This is one of those hack and slashes that I was really able to get
into, and I loved ONIMUSHA 3, especially with its storyline. I think this game has a really good chance of working as a story, mainly because it can be told fairly straightforward, cutting out a lot of the puzzle action, and just putting in some really sweet combat scenes. If Chris Gans is anything like he was with SILENT HILL, then I have full faith in this game.

Keen: Sorry folks, this is another PlayStation title I’ve had the misfortune of missing out on. However, studying up on the title, ONIMUSHA sounds interesting to say the least. The inclusion of Jean Reno as a voice actor is impressive. And bonus points for sneaking in Danica McKellar.

Probability of suck: Moderately Low

DMV: I can only say, hopefully Boll will be somewhat self-deprecating in this, which will warm us all up to him a little more. Maybe. The game is meant to be ridiculous, so hopefully the film will be too.

Keen: The trailer for this movie looks dreadful. Another mess of a video game brought to you by Uwe Boll.

Probability of suck: High

Tommy, a Native American living on a reservation, is trying to rescue his girlfriend and grandfather after aliens attack the reservation. He goes aboard the alien “sphere” and wreaks havoc.

DMV: This is one of those games that really shouldn’t be turned into a film, as I feel that the story really just isn’t there. Plus, we’re dealing with another FPS headed to film, which can only bode poorly for theater patrons.

Keen: I really enjoyed PREY. Unfortunately, the game’s strength was its gameplay not its storyline. The voice acting was subpar and its plotline was cliche. This felt like a variation of TUROK among other well known games. They really need to polish this story if they want to make a successful movie.

Probability of suck: High

The IMDb plotline is something different from the game. “Based on the video game, which follows an adventurous prince who teams up with a rival princess to stop an angry ruler from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy the world.” This is currently being written by the guy who did THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

DMV: Here’s another game that I wanted to see turned into a movie, and I’m expecting there to be a good story. The only problem is that I don’t have much confidence in the writers of the film, and so I’m hesitant on declaring it to be a success. There are just too many variables right now for it.

Keen: This is another game with an outstanding story that deserves to be seen on screen. Sales for PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME weren’t tremendous, but the reviews and gameplay were. If they can translate the voicework, plotline, and adventurous spirit of the game to a script, you’d better look out!

Probability of suck: Moderate

It’s the third and final installment of the RESIDENT EVIL trilogy! The story this time is that now the survivors of Racoon City are heading through Nevada to try and make it to Alaska to escape the Umbrella Corporation. There’s a bit of a switch up, as Paul WS Anderson only has writing credits for the film, while Russell Mulcahy is directing. Also, it should be noted that Vanilla Ice will have a role in this film, which he won on The Surreal Life: Fame Games.

DMV: Ugh. RESIDENT EVIL was bad. RESIDENT EVIL 2 was horrible. So naturally, I can assume that RESIDENT EVIL 3 will be a sin against God. I see no chance of this movie being redeeming, but I know I’ll go watch it anyways for the sake of gamers everywhere.

Keen: The other two films did quite well and I expect the third will maintain the status quo. The trailer is now in theaters and looks to keep the fans happy.

Probability of suck: High

After the mediocre SILENT HILL film, Chris Gans is back to do a second one. There’s currently no one else attached to this film, as well as no decision as to which SILENT HILL game they are going to be focusing on.

DMV: Oh, how I wish Neil Gaiman was working on this project. Aside from that, I’m really glad that Roger Avary is not attached to write this film. If you bother to take the time to watch the extra features on the SILENT HILL disc, then you’d realize that everyone had some real love for the game, especially Chris Gans. The only person who didn’t play it was the writer, Roger Avary, because he felt that it “would have tied him down too much to be restricted to one game.” God, how I wanted to punch that guy in the face.

Keen: I enjoyed SILENT HILL (the movie) for what it was. The visuals were crisp and creepy, too bad the acting was empty and some of the situations were ludicrous. A movie sequel is guaranteed because the original generated just enough money to hit the well one more time.

Probability of suck: Low

The Ubisoft game is currently sitting in film development, with no director attached to helm the project. The writer for the original game is set to be working on the script, and there is some concept art floating around the backlots. The film is supposedly going to be released in 2010.

DMV: With the METAL GEAR SOLID movie on it’s way, I feel like SPLINTER CELL is just going to be a bit of a ripoff. I’m no fan of Sam Fisher, as I prefer Snake by a longshot.

Keen: I remember seeing the teaser for this movie in a movie theater many moons ago. And like so many other great game-to-film projects, this movie died before it ever got off of the ground. No actor can play Sam Fisher (not even Michael Ironside) and no one should. This is one of those games that is better off not having a movie adaptation.

Probability of suck: Moderately High

The fighting game is announced to get the big screen treatment sometime in 2009. The film is supposed to be directed by Dwight H. Litte, who has had experience directing episodes of 24 and Prison Break, along with HALLOWEEN 4 and FREE WILLY 2. The writing team is a group of 4 writers, who have all had experience with fast paced films, including BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER, FACE/OFF, and SPAWN.

DMV: God, that FREE WILLY 2 thing made me laugh. Nonetheless, I have higher hopes for this film than I did for DEAD OR ALIVE. The experience of all of these men fills me with the hope that they have an idea with what they’re doing, but my only worry is that the storyline will get extremely convoluted.

Keen: Making fighting games into movies makes absolutely zero sense to me. Of all the genres of video games, fighters contain the weakest amount of storyline (unless you include shit like COOKING MAMA). I’m sure TEKKEN would be a fine popcorn flick but I’d rather see games like BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL or ODDWORLD STRANGER’S WRATH made into movies.

Probability of suck: Moderate

To add in, here are some titles that have been buzzing around the Hollywood wire:

MY XBOX GAMERTAG:

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