Frank McKlusky C.I.

An insurance claims investigator with an overly protective mom and comatosed dad finds himself in a pickle when his partner is murdered during a routine investigation. Hooking up with a rookie in a short skirt, the C.I. switches into a plethora of goofy costumes in order to get to the bottom of his partner’s mysterious death. A gargantuan failed attempt at humor ensues.

Every now and again, a movie comes along to remind us of how very bad a motion picture can truly be. FRANK MCKLUSKY C.I. is that movie! After enjoying lead actor David Sheridan’s small, but scene-stealing turns in films like GHOST WORLD (the mullet guy), SCARY MOVIE (Deputy Doofy) and BUBBLE BOY (the 80s style boyfriend), I was looking very forward to seeing what he could do as the lead in his own comedy. And with a plotline comparable to that of another comic’s big breakthrough, ACE VENTURA: PET DETECTIVE (Jim Carrey), and a similar look and goofy face, everything seemed primed for fun. Then again, so did the Titanic before that damn iceberg slammed into it! Suffice it to say, this movie is an all-out disaster. And while I can’t blame it all on Sheridan alone, since every other detail of the film sucked as well, this is definitely a huge misstep for the up-and-comer and I only hope that not enough people see the movie and/or remember his other, smaller, funnier roles instead. Ironically, I found myself laughing because I couldn’t remember the last time that I watched an entire movie without cracking one single smile. I was actually yawning as I tried to figure out how an entire production of people, most of whom had acted in successful films before, could take part in this movie, shoot these extremely lame over-the-top sequences, deliver these horrible lines and perpetuate every stupid, unfunny joke that you’ve seen rehashed over the past 10 years (fart, gay and handicap jokes abound), and not raise their hand and say, “Uhhhhm, am I the only one who thinks that none of this is even one damn bit humorous??”

The victims? Kevin Pollak, Andy Richter, Randy Quaid, SNL’s Tracey Morgan, R. Lee Ermey, Dolly Parton, Kevin Farley (Chris Farley’s brother), Pat O’Brien, and yes, even Chyna, the wrestler (that alone should tell you what kind of movie this is) Unfortunately for everyone involved, the film starts off with a ridiculous premise, graduates to moronic behavior and unfunny jokes and ultimately, pulls it all together in 77 minutes of pratfalls, idiocy and embarrassing situations (Sheridan’s father played by Quaid, sits in a coma the entire movie and farts ). The film also sticks as many 80s TV references as it can into the mix (not one of which is inspired or funny), inserts Sheridan in one unfunny get-up after the other, and overplays its gay jokes like they were going out of style. And for God’s sakes, if you’re gonna put Dolly Parton in your movie…get her to flush those melons out already…gimme something, man! Sadly, the film sports no T&A, no swearing, no engaging characters, no memorable dialogue, no rhythm, no interesting directing choices and ultimately…no reason to watch it whatsoever (unless you’re depressed and want to feel better about your own life). Any movie in which the extremely disproportional female wrestler Chyna is the seductress, any movie in which Hanson is shown in concert and any movie which believes that cameo appearances by has-beens like Scott Baio, Lou Ferrigno and Emmanuel Lewis are going to somehow help its cause…obviously doesn’t have any clue about what makes people laugh. Now despite all that, I will, once again, re-iterate how I believe all comedies are extremely subjective in nature and how one person’s stupidity can be interpreted as hilarity to another. But in my humble little opinion, this movie blows. And oh yeah, the screenwriter’s only previous writing credit was for Disney’s COUNTRY BEARS. ‘Nuff said?

(c) 2021 Berge Garabedian