Thanksgiving Face-Off: Best guest? Freddy Krueger or Pinhead?

November 26th 2014, 8:00am

Last Updated on August 5, 2021

The majority of wolf hounds agreed with the outcome of our last Face-Off that had An American Werewolf in London taking top dog over The Howling. Of course, many people still expressed the pretty solid fact that The Howling is still a great flick and a worthy runner-up to the American champ.

Since today’s Face-Off falls on the day before Thanksgiving, we are serving you a special holiday-themed battle similar to the one we did last year around this time. We pit two horror villains against each other to see who would make a better guest to have over for Thanksgiving dinner. This year’s lucky contenders are Freddy Krueger and Pinhead! So, grab your carving knife and stuff your bird, because this meal is about to get messy!

Turkey Carver

Ol’ Fred definitely seems perfectly equipped for handling the dismantling of a Thanksgiving bird. In fact, he brings his own cutlery with him everywhere he goes! The clawed glove should easily and swiftly make minced meat out of any fresh turkey. He can use four different knives at the same time on just one hand. How’s that for efficient!

I’m sure that Pinhead would relish the chance to rip into a turkey. He’s got a knack for tearing apart flesh. However, he would most likely fire his patented hooked chains into the bird, looking to skin it quick. Unfortunately, I feel that this method would backfire because those hooks are a little too powerful. The turkey would most likely burst apart all over the place once the hooks got yanked back!

Stress

Freddy may be a bit of a wildcard in the too much stress department. Sure, he’s got a pretty bad temper which could lead to family arguments and I’d also keep him FAR away from any kids at the table. However, he’s also a laugh riot and could make for some great comic relief during dinner.

By Pinhead’s poised demeanor and hint of refined accent, I’m betting that he would be a model guest at the dinner table and cause very little worry. As long as he’s content sucking down turkey and stuffing instead of your family’s souls, there’s pretty much nothing to worry about.

Attire

It’s pretty obvious that Freddy has always been appropriately dressed for the holidays with his Red and Green Christmas-y sweater and slacks. Such a festive look for an evil guy. He even wears a fancy-type hat which I’m sure he wouldn’t mind removing while sitting down at the dinner table, especially if he wants to do his “I’ve got the brains” trick for everyone.

Oh man, I’m just not sure if the tight leather suit with open, bloody piercings is going to fly at the dinner table. I can forgive the pins in the face because that could just be considered facial art or even some kind of medial apparatus. But visible bodily mutilation mixed with S & M wear is a bit much to take in on a family holiday.

Food Consupmption

I couldn’t see Mr. Krueger downing too much of your meal. He’s pretty skinny to begin with. I’m pretty sure he’d be more interested in starting some sort of food fight than loading up his plate with all of your trimmings. Better keep a ham on hand as possibly a second main dish though, because I think he’s more into devouring “little piggies”.

Pinhead, I believe, has a large appetite. I mean, the dude swallows up tons of souls and never seems to get full (or fat). Dude must have a metabolism like a motherf*cker. I could definitely see his mouth growing extra large at the dinner table and sucking down everything in sight! And you can bet he’ll do it all before you say grace.

Family Guy

I’ve got a feeling that Freddy isn’t the biggest fan of families in general, especially ones with kids. I just don’t see him gathering everybody in front of the fireplace for a family holiday photo. And, yeah, like I said before, you really gotta keep him away from any children in the house.

I think that Pinhead may have a soft spot in his black heart for the idea of family. He’s a pretty classy, articulate horror baddie who is intelligent enough to understand the value of a family. Hell, he is actually the leader of his own sick and twisted version of a family: those nasty Cenobites.

Freddy Krueger

Well, that Face-Off certainly was neck and neck! Always nice to start off the Thanksgiving festivities with a good match! After all was said and done, it would appear that Pinhead’s goose has been cooked. Yes, Freddy can now sink his claws happily into Turkey Day with a big win. What did you think about the battle? Would you want either of these dudes at your Thanksgiving dinner table? And feel free to send any future Face-Off ideas to me at [email protected]. Gobble Gobble!