A plethora of Night of the Demons fans agreed that the original deserved to take the top spot in our last Halloween seasoned
Original Vs. Remake. Although many still acknowledged the closeness of the contest was valid because the remake was actually quite well made. A nice way to kick off the spookiest month on the calendar.
Today, we finally get to our holiday’s main event! Many have often requested the following bout and I say it’s about damn time. We’ve got the classic of horror classics taking on it’s grimy, successful reimagining/remake! The reason for the season versus the white trash rehash! Oh, it’s definitely about to get bloody! So, get your tricks and treats in order and put on your masks as we take a trip to Haddonfield and take a stab at both versions of HALLOWEEN!
The 1978’s story is so simple, yet so effective. A mental patient escapes from custody and returns to his home town 15 years after he murdered his sister on Halloween. However, within this straightforward tale lies an abundance of situations and tropes that have shaped the cinematic horror universe. The wild teens that have sex and get high are taken out. The masked killer lurking in the shadows. The pure final girl who must face the killer. It’s all there and it’s all done to perfection.
Here with the remake, at least something slightly different is tried with us getting a glimpse of young Michael Myers’s life. The only problem is that his childhood is shown in a ridiculously over-the-top white trash fashion (a lame plot tool that Rob Zombie seems to be obsessed with). At least it’s kinda cool seeing young Michael in action. The second half of the flick is basically a rushed retelling of the original.
John Carpenter really lucked out on this one. His film is comprised mostly of unknowns, yet everyone involved provides perfect performances. Jaime Lee Curtis knocks it out of the park in her very first film role. All her supporting friends convey ideally believable performances. And, of course, master thespian Donald Pleasence mesmerizes as Dr. Sam Loomis, horror’s original “Ahab”, as he desperately tries to stop the madness of his former patient.
Listen, I know Robert Zombie loves to put his wife, Sheri, in his movies and that’s his prerogative. However, her shitty acting hurts every movie he makes. The rest of his cast doesn’t fair very well, but not because they are incompetent actors. A great deal of the dialogue is just so f*cking awful that it takes a toll on the performances. Every time I think someone’s doing a good job, they say something that makes them sound like they’re nine years old.
Practical makes perfect. With its low budget, the original Halloween didn’t have much grue and gore to work with. And, frankly, it didn’t need that much. Many don’t even realize how virtually bloodless the film is. By far the greatest effect the movie has is the iconic Michael Myers mask created by cutting out the eye holes, painting white, and teasing the hair of a William Shatner Star Trek mask.
The blood certainly flows in abundance in the remake. I certainly wouldn’t expect somebody like Robert Zombie to pull off solid scares with minimal gore. Hence the red stuff is thrown all over the place as Michael slashes and stabs his way from youth to adulthood. Fortunately, all the effects are pleasantly practical for a realistic effect.
This film is classic example of how to build up tension to the extreme. It’s 36 years old and still holds up magnificently today in terms of scary. The nonstop fear of the unknown is such a powerful element to this movie. And hearing Dr. Loomis describing The Shape as this blank canvas of evil only heightens the willies. The final 10 minutes are the ultimate payoff as our worst anticipated nightmare comes to life.
The remake’s motto seems to be the louder, the scarier. How else could you explain the overly aggressive manner with which Michael’s attack scenes are filmed. The camera gets all shaky and every object around him gets pounded to pieces. I get that the remake Michael is a big guy and can deliver death with a vengeance, but that really isn’t the essence of the character (remake or not). His ridiculously heightened intensity actually ends up taking away from the scares.
Jamie Lee was certainly cute as Laurie Strode, however she didn’t become truly hot until she got a little bit older. I also think that Nancy Loomis brings a similar cuteness vibe as Annie. But PJ Soles as that wild sexpot Lynda totally ups the hotness factor. She oozes sexy every time she’s onscreen and is always down for getting down. “See anything you like?” Oh, yes. Yes, I do!
The one thing other than brutal violence that Mr. Zombie seems to love to exploit, is definitely women. In fact in his eyes, it appears that brutality and women often go hand in hand, especially when said women are wearing next to nothing. Yes, Scout is cute, but the real hotness comes from two former child stars that are now all grown up. Hanna Hall and Danielle Harris both expose their lovely racks. There’s Sheri Moon Zombie (at least her ass can act). Lastly, the sultry Kristina Klebe takes Lynda a step further by showing us everything!
Do I really need to explain it? Okay, the main reason Halloween is the quintessential horror classic it is today is because of John Carpenter. Everything from the shadows to The Shape’s movements to Dr. Loomis’s intensity to the friggin music, it’s ALL Carpenter! Such a fitting last name considering how wonderfully his film is crafted. It’s a work of art with pure, nearly blood-free scares that entertains to no end.
Oh, Robert. Haven’t you been bashed enough? Instead, I’m just going to try and explain why some people have developed such a large distaste for your movies. The white trash angle is getting very old. Maybe it’s your crutch because it’s easier to write dialogue when your characters are morons? Regardless, it’s extremely juvenile. That is how the Halloween remake feels at times. Like some 13 year old was allowed to make it. The majority of the material feels so blatant and uninspired. The Shape deserves better than that.
Well, I’m sure that was a shock! No, not really. Ain’t no way you can overthrow the king of Halloween. I was just curious to see how ol’ Robert’s remake would hold up in the fight. At least it wasn’t completely shut out. But seriously, I think even the most rabid Zombie supporter would agree with the outcome. Then again, there are a lot of crazy people out there. Alright, enough! I know you’re just dying to fire them bullets below, so have at it! And if you have any flicks you’d like to see in this column, give me a shout at
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