Ho! Ho! Ho, my friends! I hope you are all currently soaking up the Christmas spirit as well as numerous high-alcohol eggnog concoctions! I had a blast with our last
Face-Off. I was shocked to see that a select few actually agreed with my “controversial” outcome that had a remake besting the original!
Today, I’d like to present you with the Christmas gift of my last holiday horror Face-Off for this year! The reason I’m excited about it is because it finally gives me a chance to show some love to Gremlins and Gremlins 2! Okay, I know only part 1 has the Christmas theme to it, but does that really matter? Besides, I’m not pitting the actual movies against each other, just two evil Gremlins. And, who doesn’t think of Christmas when they think of Gremlins?! So, let’s tear the candy-cane-colored wrapping paper off this mofo and get ready for Gremlin’s Stripe Vs. Gremlins 2’s Mohawk!
“Gizmo ca-ca!” Stripe certainly is not fond of the furry mogwai whose ass he sprung forth from, putting him up on a dart board and then throwing some pointy darts. Then, he quickly tosses him down the laundry shoot to be forgotten. Until Gizmo meets up with him at the end and Stripe open fires at him with a gun.
Now, Mohawk really has some deep-seeded hatred towards Gizmo. From the moment he pops out of him, he immediately starts wrecking havoc, ordering his minions to lock the sweet mogwai inside the vent system. Then, the Gremlin Mohawk version really gets mean, shoving Giz’s face into a copy machine, torturing him with velcro, and even running him over with a toy train set!
Stripe is one f*cking Gremlin that knows how to pop out and attack. He’s personally responsible for a number of jump scares throughout the flick! He really makes you shriek while knocking over Billy at the YMCA on his way to jumping in the pool. Plus, I couldn’t think of anything more freaky than being inside a mall department store alone with Stripe lurking within the darkness. If you hear the sound of a chainsaw, you’d better start running!
Mohawk definitely showcases a pretty frightening demeanor. He’s got these stark, evil eyes and a super sharp mohawk that goes all the way down his back. He does have one pretty intense jump scare when he pops up out of the panel in the control room. From there, he takes a slightly more humorous approach through his abuse of Gizmo, but gets back to the shrieks upon ingesting the lab’s spider formula. However, it’s a little tough to induce jump scares when you’re this huge spider/Gremlin hybrid.
Though Stripe is certainly evil, he does have a bit of a dark humor streak in him. Having him blow his nose on the curtains in Billy’s house was inspired comedy. Also, his affinity for popcorn and candy always induces a good chuckle – “Yum Yum!” Even when he’s trying to kill Billy at the end, there’s always this slight tinge of hilarity to all the things he throws at him from tennis balls to radios. Even the chainsaw part has a funny bit at the end when Stripe bumps his head – tweet, tweet, tweet.
The funniest thing I remember Mohawk doing is laughing like a nut right after he runs the electric train into Gizmo tied to the tracks. You can easily tell how much he is enjoying his little trick. He really doesn’t do anything too hilarious other than that. The fact that he turns into a giant spider Gremlin is more creepy than funny.
Before multiplying like crazy in the YMCA pool, Stripe tallies up an okay list of destructive deeds: he breaks windows and doors, and Lord only knows that the kind of clean up that is going to be needed for that pool! Then, at the end, he creatives his mayhem masterpiece by laying waste to anything and everything inside that department store. Impressive!
Mohawk does a sweet job f-ing up a control panel as he bursts forth from it like a chest-bursting alien. From there, he proceeds to do a pretty good number on a toy store while torturing Gizmo. Lastly, after turning into spider Gremlin, he messes up an entire hallway corridor with a sticky array of webs. Nothing too crazy, though.
Stripe is by far the most inventively crafty of his brood of Gremlins. You couldn’t just dispose of him with a simple stabbing or by spraying his face with cooking spray and backing him into a microwave. Hell, you can’t even blow him up in a movie theater showing Snow White! It makes sense that he would be the last Gremlin left to contend with. He even arms himself with a crossbow, chainsaw, and gun inside the department store. Resourceful little bastard!
You’d think that Mohawk’s tough guy swagger would make him the hardest Gremlin to kill of all. And he does show some survival power after bursting out of the control panel by knocking out one technician before running away. Then he becomes that large spider Gremlin and that should have added to his ability to not get killed. Instead, it seems that all those extra legs make it harder for him to move swiftly within the confines of the Clamp building. I mean, Gizmo is able to waste him with a rubber band, paper clip, and a flaming pencil. That says it all!
It’s tough to beat such an iconic baddie from such a classic holiday horror movie. Yes, the one with the cute little white stripe on his head delivered one ugly loss to the sharp mohawked one! I’ve got a feeling that many of you, my fellow AITH-ers, are gonna agree with this one. And I wasn’t even being biased because I am a huge fan of both Gremlins 1 and 2. This is just how the Christmas cookie crumbles. So, to all you faithful readers, Have Yourself A Scary Little Christmas! And feel free to send any future Face-Off ideas to me at
[email protected].