Well, for the first time ever, we actually had a tie in the comments section of our last
Face-Off. Though it was an admittedly tight race, I still think that Carrie White deserves to take the telekinetic trophy over Tina Shepard.
Now on to this week’s Halloween-themed Face-Off! You can bet your ass today’s match-up centers on the only horror icon associated with this wonderful holiday: Mr. Michael Audrey Myers (yeah, I included his full friggin’ name out of respect)! Now, as you can probably guess, I’ve already done my fair share of Myers-related Face-Offs, so it was tough coming up with a brand new, worthy contest, but I think we’ve got one. It’s time to pit Michael against… Michael?! That’s right! So, lock your doors and put on an LL Cool J/Busta Rhymes mega mix! Because it’s time for Halloween H20’s Michael Myers Vs. Halloween Resurrection’s Michael Myers!
There is something very smooth about the way Michael moves in the series re-invigorator that was H20. The clunky, bulkish Shape from the previous Thorn-induced sequels had given way to a sleek, svelte stalker that moved, jumped, and stabbed at a much faster pace. He’s also packing some serious upper body strength from the way he gracefully lowers himself with one arm from the ceiling while hunting his sister.
Michael has definitely slowed down a bit here in Resurrection. Perhaps time had finally caught up with his legs? He also gets somewhat easily bested on several occasions because of his lagging. I mean, Jamie Lee springs a rope trap on him and f*cking Busta Rhymes actually makes him his bitch. Mr. Myers seems a bit tired with the whole stalk and chase scene here. The only reason he’s able to kill everyone is because they’re trapped in his house.
Out of control hair! That’s the first impression I get from Michael’s mask in H20. Those light brown locks are teased up high all over the place. The eye holes seem to be a bit wider, revealing more of his “black” eyes. This mask appears to be the most human of the bunch, it’s slender features (possibly to match the newly slender Michael?) seem almost painted on.
The ‘do thankfully got tamed down for ol’ Mike in Resurrection. There is also a creepy sharpness to the cheekbones and eyes. This mask is somewhat reminiscent of the original ’78 version. It also seems to fit Michael like a glove; not too lose, not too tight. This mask has a cool, scary edge (unlike the actual movie itself).
Mike starts out his spree with a bang, offing three people before the opening credits. From there, the death toll kinda lags while we learn about Laurie Strode’s new life. Once he finally finds his sis, Michael thankfully begins swinging his kitchen knife again, killing two students and Laurie’s boyfriend. And… actually… that’s it. A grand total of six.
Michael comes back with a vengeance at the start of Resurrection disposing of two security guards on his way to finally accomplishing his number one goal of killing his sister in a rather uneventful manner. From there, he is served up a victim buffet in the form of the idiots looking to get famous through Danger-tainment. Six more kills for a grand total of nine.
As mentioned previously, Michael displays some awesome upper body strength with his ability to gracefully lower himself from the ceiling with a single arm. He also is able to stab a kitchen knife directly through a guy while simultaneously lifting him off the ground, again with just one arm. He’s got some major durability as usual, surviving many a stab as well as far falls. Proves that just because he’s a silent psycho doesn’t mean he skips his gym days.
Michael remembered his one-arm pull-up routine at the beginning of Resurrection, effortlessly lowering himself once again to attack an unsuspecting victim. He’s also able to slice a girl’s head off with a single swing of a kitchen knife. His best feat of strength occurs upon crushing a dude’s head in with his bare hands.
This may be a little tricky considering Resurrection’s stupid opening explanation, but f*ck it. I’m treating H20’s ending as if it wasn’t being bred for a sequel. So, Michael goes toe to toe with his sis in a knockdown, drag out, stab-a-thon. It all eventually culminates to a major crash involving the two and a coroner’s truck. Michael gets pinned between the truck and a tree, and reaches out to Laurie for help. After a brief thought at lending a hand, Laurie rescinds her offer and chops his f*cking head off with an axe! Classic!
Oh Dear Lord! Whoever thought it would be a good idea to include Busta Rhymes in a Halloween movie should be force fed a razor-laced candy apple. Okay, so Michael ends up in this detached garage from his house battling the flick’s mediocre survivor chick. The place is on fire. Right when he’s about to make the kill, in busts ol’ Busta and before you can say “Trick or treat, mutha-f*cka”, enacts the most inane use of martial arts in a horror film since PIECES. And he actually defeats Michael, leaving him to burn. This blows.
I suppose it’s fitting that a Face-Off between the same killer ended in such a tight race. I’ve always been a big fan of the nostalgic screamfest that was H20 and felt that Resurrection did the flick an injustice by continuing from there. But I’m also a huge fan of Michael Myers, period, so this was a tough race to call. What do you think? What are your feelings on the two Michaels from these two very different movies? Spit some candy corn-colored bullets below and let me know what you think! And feel free to send any future Face-Off ideas to me at
[email protected]. Have a Happy Halloween!